He Died for 3 Hours — The Near Death Experience Transformation That Changed Everything | Jonathan Ashford | EP 478

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Close your eyes and imagine.

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What if the things in life that caused us the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, are challenges.

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Challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be.

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We feel like we've been buried, but what if, like a seed, we've been planted?

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And having been planted, we grow to become a mighty tree.

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Now, open your eyes.

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Open your eyes to this way of viewing life.

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Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature.

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This is Grief to Growth, and I am your host, Brian Smith.

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Hi there, I'm Brian Smith.

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I want to welcome you, whether you're joining us for the first time, you've been with us for a while, to another episode of Grief to Growth.

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This show is here to help you navigate life's most difficult moments and explore the deeper questions that we all ask.

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Who are we, where do we come from, why are we here, and where are we going?

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I think today's conversation is one that may just shift your entire understanding of life, death, and what lies beyond.

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I've studied the afterlife for quite a while, and one of the things I find most compelling about afterlife studies is the near-death experience.

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And my guest, Jonathan Ashford, is someone who didn't just have a near-death experience.

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He says he actually died.

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On May 22nd, 2023, Jonathan's organs failed, his skin turned yellow, and he was clinically dead for three hours.

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But during that time, something extraordinary happened.

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He wasn't just floating above a hospital bed.

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He was immersed in what he describes as divine consciousness.

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He received teachings, he had a life review, and he was given a choice to stay or return.

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Jonathan had spent 25 years at the peak of material success, climbing the corporate ladder, living in abundance, and avoiding anything remotely spiritual.

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But after that experience, the version of him that returned was profoundly transformed.

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The man who came back was not the man who died.

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That executive, he says, is gone.

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Today, Jonathan is part of the IN's International Association of Near-Death Studies and the NDERF Research Studies in the Near-Death Experiences.

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And since August 2024, he's been helping others explore across the world, I should say, explore through speaking, private lessons, and spiritual guidance.

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He's not here to self-promote.

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In fact, he was told not to.

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He's here to serve, to share what he experienced with those who are ready to hear it.

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So in this episode, we'll explore what really happened during those three hours, what it felt like, what he learned, and all we need to know about the life we're living before we cross over.

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What's the difference between a near-death experience and actually dying?

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How does free will fit into what he was shown?

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Can intellect stand in the way of truth?

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And what happened when the heart finally takes over?

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So this isn't just a story, it's an invitation to re-examine everything.

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So stick around, and as always, the conversation afterwards continues over at my substack at grief2growth.substack.com.

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There you're going to find an article about today's episode where you can keep the dialogue going, you can ask questions, and you can interact with other listeners to the show.

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So with that, I want to welcome Jonathan Ashford.

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Thank you, Brian.

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I'm happy to be here.

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Yeah, I'm really glad to have you here.

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I understand you had a pretty...

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Well, all near-death experiences are unusual, but I think yours may have been more unusual than some others.

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I know you say that you didn't just have an NDE, that you actually died.

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So which brought on organ failure, multiple organ failure.

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And when I went to the other side, I was told that I passed, which is why I was given the choice to stay there or return.

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When I did return, my body was 94 degrees.

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I had lost one degree of temperature for hour that I was gone, which I understand from a hospice nurse I had recently given guidance to that that's normal.

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It's normal past death to lose that body temperature.

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So yeah, my experience is a little bit more rare than others in a way.

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I like to say there's a dial of near-death experiences where you start at the 12 and most go to the three or the six or the nine, but mine went fully to the 12 where I was asked what I wanted to do when it was over.

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So you were in the hospital when this happens?

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No, actually, I had been to the emergency room twice.

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I had collapsed two times over two weeks and both emergency room visits missed it.

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I was a super healthy guy, a two-hour day gym guy, and they couldn't find anything wrong.

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They found some acidity in my blood, which would have been the marker for them to find something, but they actually attributed it to my ketogenic diet at the time.

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So what turns out happened is I had a gallstone get stuck in a duct and that led to sepsis, led to the infection, which has three stages.

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The problem is when most people get a stone of any type, they feel it.

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I happen to have a DNA mutation to pain and I never felt it.

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So I just kept getting sicker and sicker and sicker until everything failed.

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The night I passed, my skin turned completely yellow.

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I had lost most of my eyesight.

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My hair was falling out.

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I had lost, I don't know, seven pounds maybe over the two weeks.

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And I thought I had picked up COVID from being in the ER.

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So I thought, wow, this is pretty serious.

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This is kicking my butt.

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And then it turns out that night I woke up and felt completely different and ended up passing.

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It took a few months for the doctors to figure out exactly what happened, but considering the damage I have, the extensive damage inside my body from that night, yeah, I died.

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Oh, wow.

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So how were you, how were you just, we're going to go to the physical, then we'll go to your, to your actual experience.

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But how was, was your body found in your house?

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Or how?

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No, no.

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So the three I, I had this experience where I made it to the bathroom and my, I was dragging my right leg down the hallway.

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I didn't, everything felt different.

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It was kind of like I was being moved to the bathroom at four 30 in the morning and I had been sleeping 18 hours a day.

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I had no idea why I had even woken up at four 30 in the morning.

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And it wasn't until I made it to the bathroom doorway that I realized, okay, I'm going to collapse again.

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And I don't know why.

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And I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it to the sink to prop myself up.

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So I kind of fell into it.

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And when I fell into it, I noticed that my hands were completely gray and all the fluid had leaked out of them.

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And I thought, wow, that's strange.

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What a weird hallucination.

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And then I looked up and I saw my face in the mirror.

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And when I saw my face in the mirror, I like to say, there's a part of you that knows when it's about to die.

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It's similar to, you could say, elderly relatives who are in the funeral home who just have this knowing when they're going to go.

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And there's something in me that clicked.

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My face had sunken in all the fluid had leaked out of my face.

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It was completely gray.

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My eyes had sunken almost to the back of my head.

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And it was that click.

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And I knew I was about to die.

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Everything had been removed from me.

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It was kind of like I was in front of all the thoughts of, oh, how's this even possible?

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Or what about my family?

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Or what about my friends?

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What about my dog?

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That was all peacefully removed from me.

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And you just kind of go through the experience of, I'll call it very graceful.

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In my case, it was very graceful.

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It was peaceful and it was beautiful.

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But there's no part of you that says, well, no, I don't want to, right?

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There's no fighting.

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It just happened.

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So in that space, I collapsed again, and I wasn't found at all.

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I woke up three hours later.

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I was a crumpled mess.

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I actually felt myself come back to my body.

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I felt the fluid start to move.

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I felt what it took to have the heartbeat one time.

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I felt my lungs inflate a little bit before I was even breathing so that I could breathe.

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They were like pancaked on my back.

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I felt my consciousness sort of grow within the body cavity and kind of take it over.

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And it wasn't until I was able to get off the floor that I realized my face had filled back in and I had taken my temperature at that point and it was 94 degrees, which is emergency hypothermia in itself.

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And my resting temperature that week was 97.1. I kept testing it, understanding why it wasn't fluctuating, considering how sick I was, which is another marker of sepsis.

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And it wasn't until all the doctor visits over the next few months that everyone was starting to put together, wow, you're really lucky to be alive.

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But I had this nagging message in the back of my head from a being that I met on the other side that said I had passed.

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Then from there, within about two or three months, synchronicities started happening, psychic messages, predictions that were coming true.

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And Dr. Jeffrey Longs, N-D-E-R-F, the research study showed up in a YouTube feed and I thought, well, we'll see.

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And I clicked and I watched his interview and I thought, well, that's just a little strange.

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He said something that really rung my bell.

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It said you don't have a life review.

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You don't review your life during hallucination.

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You don't review your life in a coma or being passed out, but you sure do review it when you've passed.

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So I submitted to his research study to be investigated and sure enough, it came back as there's a four rating and I was at the four, which is the smallest group of us who have had a very deep experience.

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And then there's the other aspect that I returned, nothing like the person who left.

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Three hours later, I was a completely different person.

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There's no explanation for it other than that experience over that three hours.

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So there were a number of things pointing to my passing and being able to intellectualize it in a sense and say, okay, yeah, it happened.

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There was an interesting thing as part of gasp or shortness of breath I had while I was sick.

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I had 911 on speed dial and I thought, okay, I kept the doors unlocked in case the ambulance need to come and get me because they had no idea what was going on with me and I just kept getting more and more sick.

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And on my return, when I stood up and my leg was working and my face had filled back in and I had some color, there was no part of me that said, oh, you just collapsed.

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You should call 911 again.

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It was like I had one leg in this world and one leg on the other side.

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And I know that to be part of the experience, to not have the trepidation, to not have the panic of something physically bad just happened, you should probably look into it.

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In fact, I just went about my day.

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I went to find my dog and when he saw me, he looked right through me.

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He didn't recognize me, so I thought that was odd.

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And then the dominoes just kept falling to add up that it was a full experience.

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Let's talk about your experience on the other side.

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You said you found yourself in the presence of divine consciousness, I believe is all you put it.

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I started my experience.

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I didn't have any spiritual beliefs.

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I was not a great guy and I used to make the joke that, well, if God existed, I'll just meet him when I'm dead.

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I mean, don't bother me.

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But I also had that fear.

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I wouldn't go to weddings and churches or funerals and churches for fear of being struck by lightning, considering the kind of lifestyle I lived.

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So I was welcomed into a light-filled landscape that looks something like the Scottish Highlands.

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It was just these rolling hills and this grass that was all the same length, no trees.

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And it was moving like it was under water.

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It was just waving and there's all this light emitting from everywhere and it was beautiful.

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It was incredible.

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And from what I understand in the studies, we're all welcomed by a view or an experience of something that does welcome us the most.

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If I had seen a church upon my passing, I would have been like, I'm in trouble.

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So for me, it was nature.

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I always had, no matter who I was in my material existence, I always had an affinity for nature.

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And that's what it kind of dropped me into.

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And from there, from what I understand with the studies, none of us know we've passed.

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I didn't.

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And it wasn't until I met a being who looked like he belonged in that place.

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And that being was dressed like a hiker, like somebody I would pass on a trail and just say, hello and keep going.

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And it wasn't until I met this hiker that I will say I made eye contact with him, but I know I didn't have a body.

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So it was kind of like when my attention and intention hit his, I received this immediate, I call it the three hour beach ball of conversation.

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It just gets put into you.

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This immediate telepathic communication about where I was, what had happened, you know, kind of who he was, he's there to welcome me all this, all this love that I can't quite put into human words.

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It's like the greatest welcome you can't give anybody here.

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But it was from that experience that the near death side of it happened.

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So tell me about what happened.

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Yeah.

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So from there, he sensed that I was trying to figure out who he was.

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And I'll just say this, you can give them any name you want.

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The names don't really matter over there.

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Like they matter here.

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Identification is very different from, you know, I wasn't Jonathan over there.

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You know, I wasn't a male or a female.

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I wasn't a Democrat, Republican, Christian and Jewish.

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I wasn't anything.

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I was a being experienced, experiencing the expansion into the fullness of many existences.

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But this being, I'll say he was 33 years old, he had brown hair and brown eyes.

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And it was like I could place him, but I couldn't place him.

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It was like remembering an old friend, but forgetting their name.

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And upon that, he stepped towards me, he could feel that, that wonder on me.

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And he started to show me a number of different existences that I had lived, as well as summing up the answer to who he was, which was I am you and you are me.

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And from there, it went right into the life review.

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Now, my life was not, I was not on the positive side of things.

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So it was all the nitty gritty.

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But that being wasn't there to judge me through it, that being was there to love me through it.

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And even doing the worst thing I had ever done in my existence, I was loved unconditionally through that experience.

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So you mentioned that you were pretty materialistic before.

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Was this a shock to you?

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How did you receive this?

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No, it's not a shock.

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You know what it is.

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I like to say that the intellect does die, right?

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The part of you that has the desire to act a certain way here does die.

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And you're free of that filter piece, at least in my experience, I was free of that filter piece.

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What do you allow me to experience my life review from more of a, for example, if you did something, you would give it the excuse.

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Well, I had a bad day that day, right?

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I was in a, I didn't sleep enough and I was grumpy.

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Like that, that intellectual part of you doesn't make the trip.

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But the part of you that does is the part that recognizes, okay, I didn't, I didn't understand my connection with another person in that conversation.

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I didn't show them any compassion.

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I didn't have love for anybody.

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I was selfish in that place, right?

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So you're feeling it for more, in my case, an observational view, but still tied very much to the being that I was.

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I would slip in to myself or I would slip in to somebody else in the experience and sometimes have a third, like a third party view of some of the experiences that I had.

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So you're really not tallying like, okay, screwed that up, screwed up, screwed up.

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You're just kind of, you're experiencing from a view without the lens of your human nature, which is desire for gain, right?

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We're always, every, every action we take is in the name of gain or comfort in some way, whether we realize it or not, and you're free of that there.

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So you get to the truth of why you do the things you do when you do them, but you also don't have that filter.

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You feel them in the full brunt.

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You don't have the filter that says, well, that's partly their fault too, right?

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You don't have that, that negotiating piece.

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So I loved the life review.

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I feel like I never left.

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I wish everybody could have it.

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It's such a tool to walk through existence, having that feeling.

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So it sounds like you take ownership of your part in things, but it doesn't make you feel guilty.

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No, there was no guilt.

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There was no shame.

00:19:22.429 --> 00:19:23.369
There was no judgment.

00:19:23.989 --> 00:19:28.689
If you want to use the word judgment, you could say there's judgment, but judgment's a harsh word.

00:19:28.909 --> 00:19:34.689
There's more, more, it was more along the lines of, oh, I missed that opportunity, right?

00:19:34.789 --> 00:19:36.769
You're not judging, you're condemning yourself.

00:19:37.009 --> 00:19:38.349
You're kind of like, okay, I see that.

00:19:38.489 --> 00:19:40.889
I understand there was love there and I denied it.

00:19:42.509 --> 00:19:46.249
So in that sense, it can give you great direction.

00:19:47.649 --> 00:19:48.729
It was just amazing.

00:19:49.109 --> 00:19:51.469
I could talk about it for the next three hours.

00:19:52.089 --> 00:19:52.809
Yeah, well, go ahead.

00:19:53.169 --> 00:19:53.629
Talk about it.

00:19:54.749 --> 00:20:00.869
So one of the really interesting parts is coming out of the life review is understanding how connected we all are.

00:20:01.289 --> 00:20:09.669
It was like when I was slipping into another being, experiencing what I was saying to them, it was feeling what they felt.

00:20:09.949 --> 00:20:32.029
It was feeling what I was, what venom I may have been pointing in their direction, but also having the understanding of if we felt our true connection to each other, we would not, or if we just acknowledge it, we probably wouldn't put ourselves in the position to even have an argument in the first place or say something crude in the first place.

00:20:33.169 --> 00:20:41.469
So the life review showed me how we are literally connected to all things everywhere, all at once, even things that we think aren't alive.

00:20:41.729 --> 00:20:49.469
There were scenarios where I would have an argument with somebody and I was the third person view, but I was also the pavement.

00:20:49.849 --> 00:20:51.949
I was also the paint of the parking lines.

00:20:52.049 --> 00:20:54.649
I was also the brick building we were next to, the car.

00:20:55.029 --> 00:20:55.929
I was the sky.

00:20:56.169 --> 00:20:56.909
I was the sun.

00:20:57.649 --> 00:20:59.569
And you just feel a wincing.

00:21:00.509 --> 00:21:09.589
You feel the aliveness of all things around us and you feel its witness of our existence and it kind of just winces a little bit.

00:21:10.409 --> 00:21:16.929
And when you understand that everything here is a part of your existence, there's no such thing as anything not being a part of your existence.

00:21:17.889 --> 00:21:24.069
You kind of lend yourself to open up a little bit more to, all right, it's not just about me and another person.

00:21:24.509 --> 00:21:25.629
It's about the future.

00:21:25.789 --> 00:21:26.569
It's about the past.

00:21:26.829 --> 00:21:30.189
It's about how this resonates through all existence for all time.

00:21:30.909 --> 00:21:39.149
Can we just be a little bit more conscious that when we pass, this will mean what it means right now to us in a human state.

00:21:39.589 --> 00:21:43.029
It'll mean something more for all in another state.

00:21:43.789 --> 00:21:47.229
So it's something that gives pause to existence.

00:21:47.489 --> 00:21:53.949
It just grabs you for a second before you engage in something and say, okay, what's this about and why?

00:21:54.129 --> 00:21:58.309
Why am I, why is the human part of me trying to win?

00:21:59.009 --> 00:22:05.729
Why is the human part of me trying to gain when it's a false gain rather than from the heart, which is the true gain.

00:22:07.229 --> 00:22:07.329
Wow.

00:22:08.109 --> 00:22:13.169
So, um, you said you were, you were dead out for three hours.

00:22:13.409 --> 00:22:14.329
What was the time?

00:22:14.509 --> 00:22:15.509
That's clock time here.

00:22:15.729 --> 00:22:16.849
What was the timeframe for you?

00:22:16.849 --> 00:22:18.049
Like on the other side?

00:22:18.809 --> 00:22:21.269
Oh, very, very long, very long.

00:22:21.629 --> 00:22:25.429
Um, I can't quite relate it to time so much.

00:22:25.529 --> 00:22:28.809
I didn't feel time when I left, I didn't feel time in the life review.

00:22:29.309 --> 00:22:37.929
The life review seemed instant, literally like a snap of a finger as well as drawn out for like every second of existence.

00:22:38.249 --> 00:22:54.649
So it was like this paradox of two experiences in one after the life review, I was given the choice to return or stay, but feeling that connection to all people, all things everywhere, it's kind of like you now understand how to facilitate love properly.

00:22:54.849 --> 00:22:59.409
Do you want to ignore that and stay here or do you want to go back and help do that?

00:22:59.829 --> 00:23:06.169
When I said I would go back, I had a second half of my near death experience, which is a little bit rare.

00:23:06.949 --> 00:23:17.909
And that's where I was giving all these revelations and teachings about time and consciousness and truth and perception and how we work through reality and how it affects all things everywhere.

00:23:18.309 --> 00:23:24.549
And those teachings, I'll call them teachings seem to go on forever, far more than three hours.

00:23:25.789 --> 00:23:31.229
They only stopped at a point where I call it, I received the embrace of God.

00:23:31.429 --> 00:23:41.149
If you want to use the word God is too small, it's far too small, but a light appeared and it just started to grow a different kind of light that just consumed everything.

00:23:41.749 --> 00:23:51.129
And then when I was fully integrated in that light, I was kind of dropped like a rain drop off of an edge of a tree branch down into my body.

00:23:52.329 --> 00:23:54.149
But it was far more than three hours.

00:23:54.429 --> 00:23:59.929
I don't know if I was there 3 million years, three years, far more than the time I was gone.

00:24:00.289 --> 00:24:02.509
Yeah, so time dilates on that side is where I understand.

00:24:03.149 --> 00:24:04.569
Yeah, it's like it doesn't exist.

00:24:05.549 --> 00:24:08.649
It's one of the things that's changed for me on return.

00:24:08.809 --> 00:24:11.709
Time has never been the same for me since coming back.

00:24:11.769 --> 00:24:20.029
And I don't know if it's because I experienced its flux and estate on the other side, but it doesn't register as time.

00:24:20.309 --> 00:24:23.629
It seems like everything is immediate and everything is really drawn out.

00:24:23.929 --> 00:24:26.129
So it's hard to say what time is.

00:24:27.049 --> 00:24:33.269
I like to call time nothing more than a slow motion view of what existence really is.

00:24:33.769 --> 00:24:35.329
Existence was shown to me as sparks.

00:24:36.329 --> 00:24:38.669
So as soon as it gets hot and red, it dissipates.

00:24:39.309 --> 00:24:40.849
So it literally is immediate.

00:24:41.029 --> 00:24:43.509
An entire existence is one snap of the fingers.

00:24:43.729 --> 00:24:44.229
It's immediate.

00:24:45.189 --> 00:24:49.769
But time is the slow motion view that allows us to experience it.

00:24:50.569 --> 00:25:01.409
So with that, without time, we wouldn't have the ability to build awareness of how we're living our lives, or what love feels like, or all the beauty and the richness of existence.

00:25:02.609 --> 00:25:05.929
So time does serve a purpose here, but not so much there.

00:25:06.549 --> 00:25:06.909
Yeah.

00:25:07.569 --> 00:25:10.289
So you said you received some teachings.

00:25:10.729 --> 00:25:16.849
Now I've heard, I've talked to a lot of people that have had near-death experiences and say, I got the teachings, but I wasn't really able to bring them back.

00:25:17.509 --> 00:25:18.969
Were you able to bring them back with you?

00:25:19.429 --> 00:25:23.109
Yeah, there are a couple of rare things about my experience.

00:25:23.509 --> 00:25:31.329
The first one is I could remember it when I got back, you know, for most of the studies, it takes years before, you know, I think the average is seven years.

00:25:31.709 --> 00:25:34.569
And then they kind of like, well, something, something happened.

00:25:35.829 --> 00:25:38.649
In my case, I remembered it right away immediately.

00:25:39.869 --> 00:25:42.609
The other thing is all of those teachings returned with me.

00:25:42.809 --> 00:25:43.849
I came back with them.

00:25:43.989 --> 00:25:53.269
I was given a couple of warnings about them before returning by this being, but it's, I feel like it's a part of me in a weird way.

00:25:53.409 --> 00:25:54.529
It doesn't come from memory.

00:25:54.929 --> 00:25:57.869
It's like it's baked into the DNA now, which is very strange.

00:25:59.169 --> 00:26:02.349
When I do interviews or anything like that, I don't have to think about them.

00:26:02.489 --> 00:26:03.329
They just come out.

00:26:03.589 --> 00:26:04.729
They have a life of their own.

00:26:05.989 --> 00:26:09.769
One of the things I was told, the teachings were for the one, not the 99.

00:26:10.889 --> 00:26:20.709
And I didn't understand really fully what that meant until I started giving audience talks and guidance where people would say, Oh, this is really interesting.

00:26:20.889 --> 00:26:21.409
It's really unique.

00:26:21.509 --> 00:26:22.909
There's something I picked up on that.

00:26:22.989 --> 00:26:25.609
There was that one thing you said and I get emails.

00:26:25.609 --> 00:26:27.309
There was the one thing, the one thing, the one thing.

00:26:27.309 --> 00:26:31.029
And I realized after a bit, they were hearing something I wasn't saying.

00:26:31.909 --> 00:26:34.089
So they were taking information in.

00:26:34.569 --> 00:26:35.809
It was unique to them.

00:26:36.009 --> 00:26:37.129
It was catered to them.

00:26:37.449 --> 00:26:39.549
They would, it would resonate with them.

00:26:39.589 --> 00:26:44.769
They would feel something, a shift inside, and they would move through life differently.

00:26:45.689 --> 00:26:49.729
So I figured out it was for the one because it is alive in its sense.

00:26:49.969 --> 00:26:53.089
And everybody who hears it, it's customized to them.

00:26:53.509 --> 00:26:54.709
It wasn't for the 99.

00:26:54.949 --> 00:26:57.889
Like it's not, okay, everybody, this is truth, right?

00:26:58.549 --> 00:27:01.429
It's going to be customized to the way you understand truth.

00:27:02.229 --> 00:27:03.969
So it does have a life of its own.

00:27:04.189 --> 00:27:06.209
It comes out in different ways.

00:27:06.369 --> 00:27:10.689
I record my talks just so I can go back and understand what came through oftentimes.

00:27:12.289 --> 00:27:21.729
But yeah, I just know that the reason I didn't forget it or the reason it's baked into me is because I was told on the other side, I'm supposed to share it.

00:27:21.809 --> 00:27:22.849
And that's all I'm doing.

00:27:23.309 --> 00:27:26.769
I come back and I talk and I say yes to everything and I try to provide guidance.

00:27:26.909 --> 00:27:28.529
I don't charge anybody anything.

00:27:29.209 --> 00:27:34.449
I live off donations and I'm just here to give you that information if you seek it.

00:27:34.909 --> 00:27:35.009
Hmm.

00:27:35.749 --> 00:27:40.469
So what are some of the things that you were you were told?

00:27:40.809 --> 00:27:47.509
I know this sounds like it's probably a lot, but you know, it's something I would guess some of the questions that people have like, why are we here?

00:27:48.189 --> 00:27:50.509
Is there anything that loves us or cares about us?

00:27:50.589 --> 00:27:51.469
Those types of things.

00:27:51.789 --> 00:28:02.649
Yeah, there's a I mean, having met it and having been integrated with it, there is beyond doubt that there's a benevolent force in and around you all day, every day.

00:28:03.309 --> 00:28:12.189
I like to say we're the children walking through existence, holding the hand of a parent, but we always forget we're holding that hand until we stop and go, Oh, you're still here.

00:28:13.589 --> 00:28:15.669
So yeah, there is a benevolent force around us.

00:28:15.829 --> 00:28:23.549
Our lives are you could say everybody looks for their purpose, but I like to say that on my return, there's nothing to do.

00:28:23.989 --> 00:28:24.989
There's nothing to change.

00:28:25.409 --> 00:28:26.729
And there's nothing to fix.

00:28:26.949 --> 00:28:40.669
There's only to experience your existence through a heart space for a heart centered space rather than the material view of existence, which would be through your intellect, which always, always desires more.

00:28:40.809 --> 00:28:41.669
It's insatiable.

00:28:42.109 --> 00:28:47.149
You could get all the answers of the world today through the intellect and you would still look for another answer tomorrow.

00:28:48.569 --> 00:28:55.169
So it's also understanding that our because we're so connected, our lives really aren't ours, in a sense.

00:28:55.949 --> 00:29:00.529
It's we're all here serving, we all bought the ticket to come down here.

00:29:01.069 --> 00:29:06.049
And we're all serving each other without realize without realizing we're actually serving each other.

00:29:06.829 --> 00:29:15.669
Our existences can only be rich or fulfilled through what we experience with others, whether that's at work or school or your friends.

00:29:16.689 --> 00:29:21.389
So we rely on each other to provide this golden experience.

00:29:21.549 --> 00:29:29.809
However, we're constantly trying to separate ourselves into something unique and different so that we can focus on our experience.

00:29:30.629 --> 00:29:32.089
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

00:29:32.409 --> 00:29:33.129
Everybody does it.

00:29:33.289 --> 00:29:34.129
It's just on occasion.

00:29:35.429 --> 00:29:45.509
When we do encounter others that were maybe hurting or suffering or angry with us is to remember that they're just experiencing what they need to experience through us as I am through them.

00:29:46.429 --> 00:29:51.569
So purpose is kind of like it's not an individual achievement here.

00:29:51.709 --> 00:29:52.789
It's a collective movement.

00:29:53.409 --> 00:30:01.689
And the more you sit in that space, the more that benevolent force around us kind of says, okay, you don't need the heat anymore.

00:30:01.869 --> 00:30:05.509
You don't need to be pushed in a certain direction.

00:30:05.789 --> 00:30:13.689
Your free will has now aligned with what real purpose is, which is just to be aware of our existence and how it affects others.

00:30:15.089 --> 00:30:15.189
Yeah.

00:30:15.989 --> 00:30:21.149
So you, you mentioned when you got to you, I think you said you felt this great love.

00:30:21.869 --> 00:30:25.469
A lot of times people, they'll say, well, I don't want to come back.

00:30:26.429 --> 00:30:28.169
So you made the conscious decision to come back.

00:30:28.309 --> 00:30:28.609
What was it?

00:30:28.929 --> 00:30:29.129
Why?

00:30:29.269 --> 00:30:30.369
Why did you decide to come back?

00:30:30.929 --> 00:30:34.969
It was coming out of the life review, realizing what our connection was to all.

00:30:35.429 --> 00:30:42.629
And I don't know if everybody gets to experience that, but in my case, it was so deep.

00:30:43.309 --> 00:30:47.969
It was understanding my connection to eternity in a way, to all humans.

00:30:49.489 --> 00:30:59.669
There was something in my life review I was shown, you know, being a busy executive, I was the kind of guy who was just not empathetic or sympathetic to anybody ever.

00:30:59.669 --> 00:31:01.529
I just didn't care about people.

00:31:02.429 --> 00:31:15.089
And there was a circumstance where I had somebody in an office that I was managing who was just looking for a little bit of time and reassurance to know that this gentleman was not going to get fired.

00:31:15.989 --> 00:31:26.369
And instead of giving him that time, he would show up in front of my office door every morning before I was at work, just to say good morning and to let me know that he was here on time and he was going to do the work.

00:31:27.149 --> 00:31:31.449
And instead of giving him the time, I ignored him and I shunned him.

00:31:31.869 --> 00:31:36.729
And it was like, I don't have time for you and I don't have time for the weakness that you're showing me right now.

00:31:37.429 --> 00:31:42.169
Well, when I experienced that on the other side, it was more than eye opening.

00:31:42.569 --> 00:32:07.189
I would say it's soul changing to understand every time he walked away from my office and went back to his, I was shown how his mood changed, how depression set in, how other coworkers would try to cheer him up and fail, how he ended up drinking heavily even more than he had already been drinking, how it affected his son's birth, his marriage, how it was passed to his son and the behaviors that he had.

00:32:07.989 --> 00:32:12.829
I was shown the ripple of basically a stone dropping it upon and how everything ripples out.

00:32:13.709 --> 00:32:24.589
So leaving that life, I guess the life review in the situation where I felt, I just felt a oneness and a love for everybody.

00:32:24.869 --> 00:32:29.149
It just immediately, it was kind of like, well, of course I'll go back and help.

00:32:29.889 --> 00:32:33.749
I mean, existence was only shown to me as that, it's over.

00:32:34.549 --> 00:32:38.709
So from that perspective, it wasn't like, well, I'm going to come back for another 50 years.

00:32:39.389 --> 00:32:41.269
It's kind of like, I'll be back in a second.

00:32:41.789 --> 00:32:43.309
So yeah, of course I'll go help.

00:32:44.229 --> 00:32:47.549
So in my case, it was, I like to say it's a divine joke.

00:32:48.269 --> 00:32:50.029
There was, well, do you want to stay here with me?

00:32:50.089 --> 00:32:50.849
Or do you want to go back?

00:32:50.909 --> 00:32:54.049
And I'm like, well, I already feel my depth of connection with everything.

00:32:54.049 --> 00:32:55.389
Of course, I'm going to go back and help.

00:32:55.649 --> 00:32:57.809
Why would I stay, you know, I'm going to be back in a second.

00:32:58.549 --> 00:33:01.449
So yeah, that's why I chose to come back.

00:33:01.809 --> 00:33:02.009
Wow.

00:33:02.609 --> 00:33:07.009
So were you able to bring that continued sense of connection back?

00:33:07.189 --> 00:33:08.849
Or do you feel isolated?

00:33:09.169 --> 00:33:10.789
Like, like the rest of us do sometimes?

00:33:11.609 --> 00:33:12.849
Yeah, no, it's very strange.

00:33:13.109 --> 00:33:14.769
Like, for example, I hated my neighbors.

00:33:15.269 --> 00:33:16.609
I didn't like my neighbors.

00:33:17.269 --> 00:33:19.089
And within three hours, I'm back.

00:33:19.309 --> 00:33:22.069
And I remember taking my first shower and just laughing.

00:33:22.069 --> 00:33:23.149
I'm like, I can't believe it.

00:33:23.209 --> 00:33:23.809
I love my neighbors.

00:33:24.009 --> 00:33:25.569
I don't know why, but I love my neighbors.

00:33:26.349 --> 00:33:27.049
And it's strange.

00:33:27.049 --> 00:33:30.909
I just have this different view of existence now.

00:33:30.909 --> 00:33:31.969
And I love everybody.

00:33:32.229 --> 00:33:35.129
I literally across the world, I don't care what anybody has done.

00:33:35.729 --> 00:33:37.569
And I just carry that all the time.

00:33:37.949 --> 00:33:41.809
And people say, well, that must get tiring, you know, because there are all kinds of people.

00:33:41.949 --> 00:33:43.489
And I said, No, it's actually freeing.

00:33:44.029 --> 00:33:46.929
I don't have to judge anybody or where they are or what they're doing.

00:33:46.929 --> 00:33:48.109
I love everybody.

00:33:48.569 --> 00:33:51.649
So I live in this gifted space.

00:33:51.649 --> 00:33:55.709
Like for me, it's like, yes, my existence is completely different.

00:33:56.329 --> 00:34:01.729
I won't be buying boats or cars, like I won't have that part of me that didn't return.

00:34:02.369 --> 00:34:06.889
But I have this essence within me now that I just get to share with people.

00:34:07.129 --> 00:34:08.389
And it's the most amazing thing.

00:34:08.530 --> 00:34:11.929
It's so much greater than what I would call a rich human existence.

00:34:12.590 --> 00:34:12.730
Yeah.

00:34:13.369 --> 00:34:16.250
So did you quit your job when you came back?

00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:20.710
Yeah, I was a sea level executive, you know, a six figure guy.

00:34:20.849 --> 00:34:31.190
And I just literally the day that I came back within an hour, I just knew I could never be in a position to trade something for money.

00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:33.289
There was never going to be a transaction.

00:34:33.670 --> 00:34:42.849
You know, I managed large groups of people as an executive, and you're always trying to move the pieces on the board for the businesses gain on their not their gain.

00:34:43.329 --> 00:34:51.289
So there's a manipulation problem in that space where you're just constantly trying to, you know, wring blood out of a stone.

00:34:51.789 --> 00:34:53.750
And nobody's getting raises for it.

00:34:53.809 --> 00:34:55.969
They're just feeling fear of losing their job.

00:34:55.989 --> 00:34:56.829
So they do it.

00:34:57.369 --> 00:34:59.909
And I realized I could never ever do that again.

00:35:00.110 --> 00:35:05.989
I could never be in a position where I tried to manipulate somebody for my gain.

00:35:06.750 --> 00:35:08.670
It just that it ended that day.

00:35:08.710 --> 00:35:09.869
I never went back to work.

00:35:10.570 --> 00:35:14.070
I sold everything sold literally gave away.

00:35:14.489 --> 00:35:16.090
I live like a monk.

00:35:16.509 --> 00:35:17.110
Everything's gone.

00:35:18.389 --> 00:35:19.369
I live off donations.

00:35:19.570 --> 00:35:22.530
I've lived off donations for the last three years and I make enough to eat.

00:35:23.269 --> 00:35:32.250
And that's perfect because I have, I didn't return with desire that said, Oh, that pair of jeans would be good or, Oh, let's go to a restaurant.

00:35:32.889 --> 00:35:40.068
I have no desire whatsoever for food, money, sex, companionship, entertainment, nothing.

00:35:40.949 --> 00:35:43.710
So for me, having just enough to eat is perfect.

00:35:43.969 --> 00:35:45.829
It's a perfect existence for me.

00:35:46.528 --> 00:35:49.009
And that's why I give this information away.

00:35:49.170 --> 00:35:52.349
There will never be, you know, pay, pay for my course kind of thing.

00:35:52.349 --> 00:35:57.489
That's just not the spot that I'm in, but, and I don't know how long I'm here for.

00:35:57.730 --> 00:35:59.809
I, I don't imagine it's for another 50 years.

00:36:00.329 --> 00:36:10.170
So I'm just here to share the information to help as many people as I can shift their perspective and in doing so that relieve suffering.

00:36:11.128 --> 00:36:11.228
Yeah.

00:36:11.710 --> 00:36:14.568
And I know you were told not to self promote.

00:36:15.509 --> 00:36:21.048
Um, so yeah, I was given a very clear message, receive only what you are given, take nothing for yourself.

00:36:22.230 --> 00:36:25.150
And people, when people hear that, they hear it different ways.

00:36:25.629 --> 00:36:31.529
I know that receive only what you were given is basically saying you, you will be taken care of.

00:36:31.629 --> 00:36:32.389
Don't worry about it.

00:36:32.750 --> 00:36:35.509
Like you don't, I've received that message a number of times.

00:36:35.670 --> 00:36:36.569
Do not worry about money.

00:36:37.089 --> 00:36:37.449
Okay.

00:36:37.929 --> 00:36:40.889
So I go and I buy groceries and I always know there's money in there.

00:36:40.909 --> 00:36:42.750
I just trust it.

00:36:43.529 --> 00:36:47.869
Um, the second half of that is, um, take nothing for yourself.

00:36:48.089 --> 00:37:01.009
That was more for me in a sense, because if I'm taking something for myself, if I'm desiring something or I'm going after it, I'm saying that there was a yourself that I'm doing it for the fabricated self.

00:37:01.009 --> 00:37:03.269
I returned without that fabricated self.

00:37:03.269 --> 00:37:09.359
There's nothing to take for, there's nothing to do for, there's no nothing to reach for or entertain.

00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:14.279
Uh, I don't have the desires that are based on the fabricated itself.

00:37:14.339 --> 00:37:19.519
Whereas before as an executive, I have all the things I want to go and take, right?

00:37:19.639 --> 00:37:23.619
I want the good champagne, the good food, I want the good golf course, all the stuff.

00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:24.199
Right.

00:37:24.619 --> 00:37:29.379
So that message was, was very clear to me and that's why I don't charge people.

00:37:30.019 --> 00:37:37.779
The second I start trying to put myself in a position where I'm rebuilding a fabricated version of who I am.

00:37:38.019 --> 00:37:41.139
Then I'm taking things for that fabricated version.

00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:42.859
I'm no longer in the space of giving.

00:37:43.619 --> 00:37:43.719
Yeah.

00:37:44.179 --> 00:37:50.819
So this is, this is, that's the message for you is, is this something that we should all take into which we not have money.

00:37:50.819 --> 00:37:51.900
Is that a bad thing?

00:37:51.980 --> 00:37:52.839
No, no.

00:37:52.980 --> 00:37:55.679
And I have a lot of wealthy people ask me those questions.

00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:04.659
You know, I have two houses or a few boats, an airplane, and I tell everybody everything in your existence is there for a reason.

00:38:05.319 --> 00:38:07.519
It's more about the shift of perception, right?

00:38:07.619 --> 00:38:19.279
If you're a multimillionaire and you have all the things, you could say the part of you that got you all the things was this constant reach out of the, in the name of desire.

00:38:19.279 --> 00:38:20.179
I want that.

00:38:20.519 --> 00:38:21.440
I need to have that.

00:38:22.039 --> 00:38:24.879
And then the shift in perspective is, well, I have things.

00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:26.339
How do I share the things?

00:38:26.799 --> 00:38:29.719
How do I have gratitude for the things?

00:38:30.059 --> 00:38:32.619
Like I was the kind of guy that bought a boat.

00:38:32.900 --> 00:38:34.679
Then I realized one boat was enough.

00:38:34.839 --> 00:38:35.739
So I bought another boat.

00:38:35.879 --> 00:38:36.819
Then I have two boats.

00:38:36.920 --> 00:38:39.259
And then you look at both boats and you're like, neither one is big enough.

00:38:39.319 --> 00:38:40.159
So you keep shopping.

00:38:40.279 --> 00:38:42.500
You just keep looking for something more.

00:38:43.619 --> 00:38:50.059
And it's when you catch yourself in the space that you realize, well, I can have gratitude for where I am today, right now in this moment.

00:38:50.259 --> 00:38:51.559
I don't need a new boat today.

00:38:52.059 --> 00:38:54.139
I could have gratitude for the stuff that I have.

00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:57.779
So it's not whether you release everything or sell everything.

00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:04.619
It's more about shifting to that heart-based perspective, which is there's that benevolent being around us all the time.

00:39:05.179 --> 00:39:07.699
I have the boats because I'm supposed to have the boats.

00:39:07.699 --> 00:39:12.619
Can I enjoy the boats from a place of gratitude in the heart versus need more stuff?

00:39:13.119 --> 00:39:13.619
Yeah.

00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:23.519
So you mentioned this earlier, because most people have happened in the it takes them quite a while to integrate the experience.

00:39:24.539 --> 00:39:38.699
You said seven to 14 years on average to fully integrated people come back a lot of times depressed, you know, feeling disoriented, you know, confused, you know, all those things sometimes takes a while to recall them.

00:39:39.179 --> 00:39:40.480
So where would you say you are?

00:39:40.519 --> 00:39:45.000
Because you're like, you know, as far as NDE person, you're like a baby in the person at this point.

00:39:45.259 --> 00:39:46.159
I know it's wild.

00:39:47.099 --> 00:39:56.639
I sat on a bunch of the experience or calls with ions just to see I was curious where where am I as far as the experiences go.

00:39:56.699 --> 00:40:08.699
And I was so rare to sit on those calls sometimes 3050 other near-death experiences and not have the problem talking about it, not have the problem sharing any part of it.

00:40:08.900 --> 00:40:14.799
Like there were people in there that have had experiences for 30 years and have never even shared it with their significant other exactly.

00:40:15.539 --> 00:40:15.639
Yeah.

00:40:15.719 --> 00:40:23.159
And it was just so strange for me, other than what I was told on the other side, like you're going to be sharing information.

00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:26.579
You're not going to be able to be you anymore.

00:40:27.359 --> 00:40:31.819
And it's kind of like I understand it in a way that there was a sacrifice.

00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:33.420
I was not returning to life.

00:40:33.719 --> 00:40:36.099
Like this isn't a second chance for the executive.

00:40:37.139 --> 00:40:40.940
I am here strictly as a piece of paper with a bunch of notes written on it.

00:40:40.940 --> 00:40:45.599
I don't get to fly to Italy to eat the pasta or drink the wine.

00:40:45.699 --> 00:40:48.940
There's no part of me that would ever imagine doing it.

00:40:49.819 --> 00:40:54.819
So I'm strictly in this space of being a mouthpiece for whatever it wants to say.

00:40:56.059 --> 00:40:57.819
I came back with all the clairs.

00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:02.519
I came back with psychic abilities that just keep growing stronger.

00:41:02.719 --> 00:41:10.819
I've done medium work, all this stuff that if the executive had heard of he would have laughed in your face at the thought.

00:41:11.940 --> 00:41:14.159
So I'm here for a specific reason.

00:41:14.699 --> 00:41:22.659
There have been people that I've spoken to that have had incredible shifts in their understanding or in their lives, spiritual shifts.

00:41:23.559 --> 00:41:25.319
And I think I'm just here for that.

00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:26.460
I'm not here for everybody.

00:41:27.139 --> 00:41:31.299
I'm not somebody who's walking around the planet saying, okay, I need to get in front of more people.

00:41:32.039 --> 00:41:33.480
I don't promote myself.

00:41:34.639 --> 00:41:41.619
But there seems to be this magical thing where people are placed in front of me when they need to be placed in front of me.

00:41:42.219 --> 00:41:48.259
So I just consider myself, I'm a tool in the garden that gets picked up every once in a while.

00:41:49.019 --> 00:41:51.519
And when I'm not, people ask what I'm doing.

00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:54.799
I'm sitting on a park bench feeding birds kind of thing.

00:41:54.900 --> 00:41:55.799
I don't do anything.

00:41:56.859 --> 00:42:00.219
I don't entertain myself in any way other than existing.

00:42:01.480 --> 00:42:03.659
So it's very different.

00:42:03.839 --> 00:42:07.739
And I don't know why it's so different other than the information I was given.

00:42:08.219 --> 00:42:11.579
Now, I'm a guest, but you probably heard the term walk in.

00:42:12.179 --> 00:42:16.359
If you've been around ions people, would you consider yourself a walk in?

00:42:16.980 --> 00:42:20.980
Yes and no, I consider myself more of a walk out.

00:42:20.980 --> 00:42:30.400
And so, you know, the way I've read about walk ins is one soul decides to check out and another soul says I'll come back.

00:42:31.319 --> 00:42:36.400
There's a part of me that knows that that soul that left didn't come back.

00:42:36.900 --> 00:42:37.839
Something else did.

00:42:38.460 --> 00:42:42.019
I don't know if you would call it another soul who's looking to fulfill something.

00:42:42.900 --> 00:42:48.239
I tend to think not a more like a walk out because things have come in and out of me.

00:42:48.239 --> 00:42:52.460
Sometimes I call myself a canoe in which some things just come in for a ride and then leave.

00:42:53.639 --> 00:43:01.139
It's a different existence in a way where I don't have the human parts that is here for the lessons anymore.

00:43:02.119 --> 00:43:10.539
The lessons come from I would get into a relationship and see how can I manage through that relationship as a near-death experiencer with information.

00:43:10.980 --> 00:43:18.699
But I know I'll never be in a person.

00:43:19.599 --> 00:43:21.519
All of those things have been removed.

00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:32.480
So it's why I called myself a walk out because there's nothing in here that's supposed to experience existence in a way that I have to worry about another life review.

00:43:33.039 --> 00:43:33.219
Right.

00:43:33.359 --> 00:43:34.559
That's kind of like it's done.

00:43:34.879 --> 00:43:36.960
It's ongoing in a way, but it's done.

00:43:37.059 --> 00:43:40.019
I'm never in a position to fight desire anymore.

00:43:40.980 --> 00:43:41.420
Yeah.

00:43:41.639 --> 00:43:46.139
And you know, when I first heard the term walk in, it sounded like it was like a soul swap.

00:43:46.379 --> 00:43:48.519
Like you're one person, then you're another person.

00:43:49.119 --> 00:43:55.400
Now I think of more of a like, it's like an upgraded version of yourself that walks in is the way that I kind of view it.

00:43:55.779 --> 00:44:05.480
Yeah, I could say that in a way, I think that person who was in here was certainly upgraded.

00:44:06.339 --> 00:44:13.900
But like, for example, that person, I could also say that person never returned at all because there was so much missing from that life.

00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:21.480
It's like I have some of the memories of that life, but I'm missing so much and I can't feel the memories, which is very different.

00:44:22.099 --> 00:44:26.079
So I have them kind of like Polaroid pictures or short videos.

00:44:26.199 --> 00:44:27.519
I can't feel the experiences.

00:44:28.079 --> 00:44:37.440
Like I had really wanted this specific motorcycle that was a, you know, like a customized anniversary edition of this bike.

00:44:37.559 --> 00:44:42.400
I knew everything about it, how fast, how heavy, everything the year.

00:44:42.819 --> 00:44:48.359
And I came back and when I looked outside and I saw it in the driveway, I couldn't have told you anything.

00:44:48.420 --> 00:44:49.139
I still can't.

00:44:49.199 --> 00:44:50.379
I know nothing about it.

00:44:50.639 --> 00:44:52.519
I know, I, I know the brand.

00:44:52.859 --> 00:44:55.480
I don't even know the model, the year, nothing.

00:44:56.339 --> 00:45:04.460
And I have so much of that where I felt that this person who was in here was very into certain things.

00:45:05.339 --> 00:45:06.199
And now I'm in this place.

00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:07.319
I know nothing about them.

00:45:08.339 --> 00:45:13.059
So I, I have a hard time putting a label on exactly what it is or why.

00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:13.619
Sure.

00:45:14.940 --> 00:45:20.579
But I just know I'm here to, I'm here as a messenger in a way to release some information.

00:45:20.599 --> 00:45:22.940
And then what happens from there?

00:45:23.019 --> 00:45:23.359
Who knows?

00:45:23.819 --> 00:45:24.239
Yeah.

00:45:24.739 --> 00:45:35.019
And you mentioned some of the Claire's that you have for, and for those people that are listening, Claire's are abilities or senses, extra, extra, extra sensory, I guess.

00:45:36.259 --> 00:45:38.319
So tell me about the Claire's that you came back with.

00:45:38.559 --> 00:45:40.219
Yeah, I have all of them.

00:45:40.500 --> 00:45:54.059
I can see the knowing Claire cognizance, I can hear auditorily, I'll know if something's in the room or if I'm about to get a prediction, I get visions, I can smell, I can taste it.

00:45:55.159 --> 00:45:59.619
I have like this soul sense, which I believe Rudolph Steiner talked about a little bit.

00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:03.519
It's, it's all of the above.

00:46:04.559 --> 00:46:06.619
There's no one part of it that I don't have.

00:46:07.119 --> 00:46:22.119
It took me a year to kind of settle into this because to go from a materialistic executive who was worried about who's playing football to now getting predictions about things happening in the world took a bit to get used to.

00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:33.619
I, you know, I predicted the LA wildfires three days before they happened, an avalanche in Switzerland that swallowed a village, earthquakes throughout, and many things to come.

00:46:34.599 --> 00:46:37.599
And I use it for people.

00:46:37.859 --> 00:46:38.879
I don't use it for myself.

00:46:39.019 --> 00:46:43.500
That was a message I received, but again, it was like, do not use anything for yourself.

00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:49.480
So I help people who have lost others with medium work, or I help them with guidance.

00:46:50.879 --> 00:46:53.679
You could call it psychic readings, but I try not to.

00:46:54.859 --> 00:46:59.980
If you're looking to know who you're supposed to marry or not, I won't give you the answer that doesn't serve as progression.

00:47:00.980 --> 00:47:12.219
So I know I'm given these things strictly to help others progress through the places they're stuck with their, their view or their lens of what their existence is actually about.

00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:14.000
Yeah.

00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:19.139
Now, I most of us live with this thing that we call the veil are called the veil, right?

00:47:19.359 --> 00:47:24.079
There's this, this forgetfulness, there's not we don't have the clairs when I have all those senses.

00:47:25.059 --> 00:47:29.440
What do you think the purposes of you having these abilities?

00:47:29.619 --> 00:47:32.379
Because I tell people, I think the veils there for a reason.

00:47:32.799 --> 00:47:37.519
Be careful what you wish for, because people, a lot of times people to come back from these experiences.

00:47:38.159 --> 00:47:42.859
It's not, it's not a good thing to have an NDE sounds like it's a different experience for you.

00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:45.859
But for the rest of us, what is the purpose of the forgetfulness?

00:47:46.799 --> 00:47:55.980
Yeah, I would say it's definitely not easy, or I wouldn't recommend an NDE, you know, your life, it literally gets turned upside down.

00:47:57.639 --> 00:48:00.539
You know, the veil, I look at the veil a little bit differently.

00:48:00.679 --> 00:48:09.819
The forgetfulness, when I experienced a view of other existences on the other side, and I have also experienced it here as well some more.

00:48:10.940 --> 00:48:15.420
If you can imagine what it would feel like to have imagine every thought you've ever had.

00:48:15.759 --> 00:48:23.500
Now multiply that by another existence, the weight of it, the yearning for happiness, comfort, the desire for things.

00:48:24.239 --> 00:48:26.119
Imagine all those thoughts you've had in your lifetime.

00:48:26.119 --> 00:48:28.039
Now multiply that by multiple lifetimes.

00:48:28.279 --> 00:48:33.179
You don't want to remember you trust me, you don't when I felt and when I felt that it was crushing.

00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:36.980
I think it would break us if we did have the remembering.

00:48:37.900 --> 00:48:41.980
I do believe there's a bleed over though, we're supposed to remember certain things, right?

00:48:42.059 --> 00:48:44.879
We're drawn to certain things in our life for certain reasons.

00:48:46.119 --> 00:48:51.799
You know, some of us are drawn to sports or some of us are drawn to cooking, and you wonder, well, why I don't know, it's just something I liked.

00:48:52.359 --> 00:49:02.039
And you're kind of you understand that existence is like the some simultaneous thing that happens, it isn't linear time, like, oh, that, that existence was 1000 years ago.

00:49:02.179 --> 00:49:04.420
It's kind of overlapping in a weird way.

00:49:04.420 --> 00:49:05.799
So you have this bleed through.

00:49:06.659 --> 00:49:36.759
But the veil, as I understand it is, is more transparent than you would believe the veil, I like to call you the veil, who you think you are is the veil, like all of our spiritual beliefs, all of our definitions of what we think reality is, all our positions that we take for understanding, when you start to release them, you start to pull back this curtain, which on the other side is the sun, the sun's always been shining, it's never not been shining.

00:49:37.019 --> 00:49:40.299
And when you kind of pull it back, you realize, oh, did you guys know there's a sun out here?

00:49:40.960 --> 00:49:47.420
And it's kind of like, yeah, and then you shut the curtain again, you know, you stub your toe in a piece of furniture, and this curtain gets shut.

00:49:48.159 --> 00:50:02.400
So it's, it's being aware or finding stillness within yourself, which is the absence of that fabricated self trying to find and get or seek something that allows that curtain to be pulled back.

00:50:03.139 --> 00:50:06.039
And I like to tell everybody, yes, I was given a lot of information.

00:50:06.900 --> 00:50:11.739
And I have a greater understanding of how existence works.

00:50:12.039 --> 00:50:13.400
But you can have that too.

00:50:13.539 --> 00:50:14.719
You don't need the experience.

00:50:15.579 --> 00:50:21.039
You know, it's more or less pull the curtain back and let yourself feel it every now and then expose yourself to it.

00:50:21.239 --> 00:50:24.599
It's there, it's literally knocking on the window on the other side of the curtain.

00:50:25.779 --> 00:50:29.259
And when you get into that space, you that's when you start to remember.

00:50:30.179 --> 00:50:31.799
A lot of people say we're here to learn.

00:50:32.719 --> 00:50:34.539
And I'll adjust that word a little bit.

00:50:34.639 --> 00:50:36.739
So yes, there are some things you are here to learn.

00:50:36.799 --> 00:50:38.819
But for the most part, you're here to remember.

00:50:39.579 --> 00:50:47.359
You're here to remember you're a loving being, you're here to remember your connection to all things, you're here to remember that there's a benevolent force around us all the time.

00:50:47.819 --> 00:50:52.940
And when you start remembering in that space, it stuff is given to you.

00:50:53.159 --> 00:50:58.980
You just receive you're in a state of reception versus I need information to give me an answer.

00:50:59.179 --> 00:51:00.699
That's pushing it all away, right?

00:51:01.039 --> 00:51:02.099
Somebody's trying to hand you something.

00:51:02.279 --> 00:51:02.879
You're like, no, thanks.

00:51:03.019 --> 00:51:04.199
Let me let me go get it.

00:51:04.579 --> 00:51:08.739
So it's really recognizing where you are in your existence.

00:51:08.739 --> 00:51:18.159
You know, have a meditative practice that will help you have a gratitude practice when you wake up that will help you or just take a walk in nature every once in a while and just be grateful.

00:51:19.379 --> 00:51:22.239
It's in those spaces that you're allowed to remember more.

00:51:23.019 --> 00:51:23.119
Yeah.

00:51:23.679 --> 00:51:26.879
So Jonathan, I'm curious about relationships.

00:51:27.400 --> 00:51:35.159
Because again, a lot of times people that have had a near death experience struggle with relationships, you know, they might come back and their spouse says, I don't even know who you are.

00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:38.900
What's it been like for you with family, friends, etc.

00:51:39.579 --> 00:51:44.379
Yeah, friends across the board, I would say I lost 99.9% of them.

00:51:44.619 --> 00:51:48.719
I mean, I was not a spiritual person, I would have laughed in your face if you were spiritual.

00:51:49.199 --> 00:51:51.179
So I hung her out with those people.

00:51:51.699 --> 00:51:54.299
And here, and here I come back as fully spiritual.

00:51:54.500 --> 00:51:57.219
They're like, no, no, no, you're, you're changed.

00:51:58.059 --> 00:51:59.579
So all the friends disappeared.

00:52:00.359 --> 00:52:01.799
Family is good family.

00:52:02.739 --> 00:52:04.259
It's, it's hard, right?

00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:08.500
It's like, my mother and brother, I think have a harder time with it.

00:52:08.619 --> 00:52:10.539
My father's on his way out of existence.

00:52:10.539 --> 00:52:12.119
So he's very open to it.

00:52:12.319 --> 00:52:19.879
But it's how do you rationalize someone who you knew so well, who then wakes up and is not that person anymore?

00:52:20.359 --> 00:52:23.279
It's like, you look the same, you sound the same, but you're not the same.

00:52:24.199 --> 00:52:25.739
And I think that's across the board.

00:52:26.119 --> 00:52:28.879
I don't I was a single guy when I passed.

00:52:30.279 --> 00:52:32.000
Happy to date anybody kind of guy.

00:52:32.239 --> 00:52:38.299
And now I'm sitting in this place where I don't feel the need for any type of relationship.

00:52:38.859 --> 00:52:40.139
I don't seek friends.

00:52:40.139 --> 00:52:41.519
I love everybody.

00:52:41.739 --> 00:52:43.859
I don't have a definition of what a friend is.

00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:45.699
I'll do anything for anyone, if I can.

00:52:46.639 --> 00:52:49.839
I don't have a definition anymore for what's family and what's not.

00:52:50.519 --> 00:53:00.519
It's after experiencing and understanding that connection, we're, we're more connected than we realize because those ties are far deeper than any familial tie.

00:53:00.579 --> 00:53:06.000
We think we have, it's like everybody's your mother, everybody's your brother, everybody's your sister.

00:53:06.519 --> 00:53:11.679
So I walked through life with just, I don't know you, but I already love you.

00:53:11.839 --> 00:53:13.199
What do you, what can I help you with?

00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:15.219
How can I serve you today?

00:53:16.699 --> 00:53:20.519
So yeah, it's part of that complete change that I came back.

00:53:20.799 --> 00:53:22.519
It's not a normal human existence.

00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:25.099
Yeah, I would imagine that.

00:53:25.379 --> 00:53:30.500
And I know when we when we try to change, a lot of times families like no, no, no, this is who you are.

00:53:30.980 --> 00:53:33.000
You've always been Jonathan, you've always been like this.

00:53:33.219 --> 00:53:34.639
So you mentioned your brother and your brother.

00:53:34.799 --> 00:53:37.299
Did they ever say, no, I know who you are.

00:53:37.859 --> 00:53:40.259
No, I can feel things on them.

00:53:40.299 --> 00:53:42.579
They don't come out and say it, but I can feel the thoughts.

00:53:43.400 --> 00:53:44.199
I get one of the gifts.

00:53:45.799 --> 00:53:49.619
No, there was never any challenge to me about who I was, because it's so different.

00:53:49.980 --> 00:53:52.219
It wasn't like I came back three degrees different.

00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:54.759
Completely different.

00:53:54.779 --> 00:53:57.759
So it's just kind of like, okay, that's who he is now.

00:53:59.139 --> 00:54:02.219
I have had friends, though, wonder, right?

00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:04.879
You know, friends, like, is it true?

00:54:05.079 --> 00:54:05.659
Is it real?

00:54:05.819 --> 00:54:06.279
Is it real?

00:54:06.839 --> 00:54:09.199
And then you have like the 10 minute conversation with them.

00:54:10.039 --> 00:54:18.440
Instead of, you know, given the special handshake, or like bumping elbows as just one of the bros, you're like, let me give you a hug.

00:54:18.679 --> 00:54:22.039
And they're like, there's just something so weird with you, something so different.

00:54:22.659 --> 00:54:22.759
Yeah.

00:54:23.159 --> 00:54:27.619
So it's yeah, I don't get the calls to go out for a beer anymore, any, any of that stuff.

00:54:27.759 --> 00:54:30.099
And I came back, I would never have one again.

00:54:30.259 --> 00:54:34.659
So it's kind of like, it just slowly dissipated.

00:54:34.920 --> 00:54:41.179
No one ever challenged me from the friend pool, because I know they can feel what's on me or in me or around me.

00:54:41.900 --> 00:54:48.299
And when I walk by people in the grocery store, they, they can feel it, especially the ones who knew me before.

00:54:48.879 --> 00:54:48.980
Yeah.

00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:51.159
So you mentioned you wouldn't go out for a beer anymore.

00:54:51.379 --> 00:54:52.259
You don't drink beer.

00:54:52.259 --> 00:54:54.000
Are you vegan?

00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:56.719
How have the things changed?

00:54:57.819 --> 00:54:58.779
Yeah, a lot.

00:54:59.379 --> 00:55:02.920
You know, I was a coffee snob, I had 10 different ways to make coffee in the house.

00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:04.960
And I would do pour overs and all the special stuff.

00:55:05.219 --> 00:55:07.859
And I loved getting into making coffee.

00:55:07.859 --> 00:55:10.179
And I came back and I can't drink coffee anymore.

00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:12.940
And I'm not allowed any stimulants.

00:55:13.639 --> 00:55:19.059
Coffee, sugar, alcohol, alcohol was a part of my life being out and socializing.

00:55:19.379 --> 00:55:23.859
Even the sports that I did were, you know, there was always an alcoholic aspect to it.

00:55:24.039 --> 00:55:27.779
The more you went out and no, no alcohol whatsoever.

00:55:28.500 --> 00:55:31.359
I was somebody who ate out almost every night.

00:55:31.480 --> 00:55:34.259
I wanted to be in the busy restaurants enjoying the great food.

00:55:34.819 --> 00:55:35.759
I haven't eaten out.

00:55:35.940 --> 00:55:36.779
I won't eat out.

00:55:37.679 --> 00:55:38.339
I seek solitude.

00:55:38.599 --> 00:55:45.879
I was the guy that wanted to be in the busiest bar in the middle of the tornado with the band going and everyone's getting loud and having fun.

00:55:46.859 --> 00:55:50.259
And now I struggle to walk into a busy coffee shop.

00:55:50.420 --> 00:55:51.319
I just feel too much.

00:55:52.239 --> 00:55:53.679
So yeah, life changed.

00:55:53.940 --> 00:55:55.879
My diet is different.

00:55:56.319 --> 00:55:57.779
People ask me all the time, are you vegan?

00:55:57.900 --> 00:55:58.539
Do you eat meat?

00:55:58.679 --> 00:56:05.119
I said, well, what I experienced on the other side is everything is here experiencing what they're supposed to experience.

00:56:05.440 --> 00:56:13.739
And if the cow chooses to experience as a cow to be eaten, then that was its choice because it's not really a cow.

00:56:14.859 --> 00:56:16.879
Everything here is a being, everything here is alive.

00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:19.539
The rock you kick is just as alive as the cow.

00:56:19.739 --> 00:56:20.900
You just don't realize it.

00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:27.420
So it's kind of like there is nothing here that we're not supposed to experience.

00:56:27.619 --> 00:56:33.699
In fact, there's no place that we can stand where we don't affect the life and death cycle of all things here.

00:56:33.940 --> 00:56:34.239
Exactly.

00:56:35.059 --> 00:56:38.239
So all we can do is experience it and have gratitude for it.

00:56:38.319 --> 00:56:42.359
You know, we look at death as an awful thing here.

00:56:42.599 --> 00:56:43.799
We're just not good with it.

00:56:44.339 --> 00:56:46.420
And in the end, death is the release.

00:56:46.619 --> 00:56:47.019
It's freedom.

00:56:47.279 --> 00:56:49.259
It's like it's leaving prison.

00:56:50.420 --> 00:56:56.960
And if something is supposed to die the way it's supposed to die, it's not to be horribly sad over it.

00:56:57.139 --> 00:56:58.239
There will be that grief.

00:56:58.400 --> 00:56:59.319
There will be that struggle.

00:57:00.440 --> 00:57:12.119
But if you can bring it to the end where it's love to know that being experienced, what they're they experience to be free of it, then we can start to love the fullness of the experience rather than just segments of it.

00:57:12.719 --> 00:57:12.819
Yeah.

00:57:13.379 --> 00:57:26.199
You mentioned at the beginning that the being that you encountered in 33 years old brown hair, brown eyes, and looking at you and talking to you, I'm hearing a lot of Jesus and what you're saying.

00:57:27.359 --> 00:57:28.079
What are you talking about?

00:57:28.219 --> 00:57:29.279
I look nothing like the guy.

00:57:30.279 --> 00:57:31.259
I don't know.

00:57:32.920 --> 00:57:41.179
But, you know, really, and it's really interesting to me because I was raised as a Christian and I was told there was just a special being Jesus who was the Son of God.

00:57:41.940 --> 00:57:46.559
And I know a lot of atheist materialists, they'll go to the other side and they're like, I was really surprised.

00:57:46.739 --> 00:57:48.000
I met this guy named Jesus.

00:57:49.179 --> 00:57:50.019
Any thoughts on that?

00:57:51.039 --> 00:57:51.440
Yeah.

00:57:51.440 --> 00:57:57.920
The reason why I don't use his name is because of our concept of what he is or who he is.

00:57:58.980 --> 00:58:03.980
You'll hear a lot of him come through me because that's what comes through.

00:58:04.879 --> 00:58:07.079
That's who is showing me all of these things.

00:58:08.199 --> 00:58:13.719
I just know that you can remove any religious context you have for him.

00:58:14.539 --> 00:58:16.059
He was pre-religion.

00:58:17.480 --> 00:58:19.440
His lessons had no religion.

00:58:20.139 --> 00:58:22.900
His lessons were the kingdom of God is within.

00:58:24.379 --> 00:58:34.319
And it's all of the stuff that we have afterwards that we point at the picture and say, I worship him instead of understanding what he was trying to show us.

00:58:35.559 --> 00:58:37.359
I'll just say God has no religion.

00:58:37.699 --> 00:58:45.019
When I was there and I was fully integrated with it, there are no defining lines that says he's this or he isn't this.

00:58:45.940 --> 00:58:49.879
What I will say is what he represents and what I felt mostly was love.

00:58:50.799 --> 00:58:54.039
You could remove the name Jesus and just call it love.

00:58:54.559 --> 00:59:03.199
It was the most incredible love and brotherly love and a love that you want to feel the rest of your days, but then you realize that love is already within you.

00:59:03.739 --> 00:59:07.679
That love lives within you and it's a matter of calling it forward.

00:59:07.900 --> 00:59:16.379
It's not something you necessarily have to be taught, but yeah, it was him, but not him as you would call him based on human understanding.

00:59:17.079 --> 00:59:18.699
No, I absolutely understand.

00:59:19.039 --> 00:59:31.639
I know the person of Jesus has been hijacked by one religion in particular who have made that person into something that he wasn't, who put words in his mouth.

00:59:32.799 --> 00:59:43.199
I hear from you what I believe the true message that he was trying to deliver would just go beyond any particular religion, which is why the religious people conspired to have him murdered.

00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:46.480
It's not like they were all into him.

00:59:46.879 --> 00:59:46.980
Right.

00:59:47.460 --> 00:59:48.319
Yeah, you have it right.

00:59:49.639 --> 00:59:52.900
He was not religious in the way he spoke.

00:59:53.420 --> 00:59:57.259
He was not divisive in the way he spoke.

00:59:57.480 --> 01:00:05.059
He was incredibly loving and incredibly sharing and has showed up in me in ways that others have seen.

01:00:05.759 --> 01:00:06.779
I always laugh.

01:00:06.940 --> 01:00:11.119
That's why I record the talks that I do because sometimes he does come through.

01:00:12.579 --> 01:00:14.179
But he's in everybody.

01:00:15.159 --> 01:00:18.379
That's the problem until you understand that he never left.

01:00:19.279 --> 01:00:19.659
He's in.

01:00:19.779 --> 01:00:20.920
He's within all of us.

01:00:21.099 --> 01:00:23.819
It's just a matter of letting him come through.

01:00:24.719 --> 01:00:33.059
Yeah, so Jonathan, for people that are listening and a lot of times people that listen to my program are people who are grieving.

01:00:33.659 --> 01:00:35.639
They've been through some of the worst things in life.

01:00:35.859 --> 01:00:37.420
They're asking themselves, why?

01:00:37.799 --> 01:00:38.839
Why am I here?

01:00:38.980 --> 01:00:40.119
What's the meaning of all this?

01:00:40.519 --> 01:00:41.799
What message do you have for them?

01:00:42.659 --> 01:00:45.799
You are loved more than you could ever possibly imagine.

01:00:46.420 --> 01:00:50.119
In everything that you're experiencing, there is love.

01:00:51.379 --> 01:00:58.980
It's hard to feel it when you're at the bottom, when you're underwater, so to speak.

01:00:59.319 --> 01:01:02.039
But there's a hand there for you to grab.

01:01:02.759 --> 01:01:06.559
And if you just acknowledge that it's in the room with you, it'll help.

01:01:07.059 --> 01:01:08.219
It's waiting for your acknowledgment.

01:01:08.579 --> 01:01:09.420
It doesn't need your worship.

01:01:09.619 --> 01:01:11.379
It doesn't need you to light a candle for it.

01:01:12.079 --> 01:01:16.839
It just wants you to know that it's there and talk to it.

01:01:17.199 --> 01:01:18.420
You don't need to be on your knees.

01:01:19.079 --> 01:01:20.659
You don't need to find a church.

01:01:21.460 --> 01:01:25.019
You just need to be in your heart and that's what it's waiting for.

01:01:25.159 --> 01:01:26.019
Wow, okay.

01:01:26.519 --> 01:01:26.699
Great.

01:01:26.859 --> 01:01:29.480
I think that is a great way to end our time together today.

01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:32.819
I know you allow people to reach out to you.

01:01:32.980 --> 01:01:34.059
You don't sell anything.

01:01:34.279 --> 01:01:36.500
But if people do want to reach out to you, how can they do that?

01:01:37.099 --> 01:01:38.039
You can reach me up.

01:01:38.719 --> 01:01:40.339
Jonathanashford.com is my website.

01:01:41.159 --> 01:01:42.019
Okay, that's great.

01:01:42.079 --> 01:01:43.659
I'll put that in the show notes, everything Jonathan.

01:01:43.960 --> 01:01:44.559
It's been an honor.

01:01:44.699 --> 01:01:45.599
Thanks for being here today.

01:01:45.859 --> 01:01:46.539
Thank you, Brian.

01:01:46.699 --> 01:01:47.940
Thank you so much.