Stephanie Arnold- 37 Seconds In Heaven

Transcript

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Close your eyes and imagine what if the things in life to cause us the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, or challenges, challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be.

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We feel like we've been buried.

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But what if, like a seed had been planted, and having been planted, who grow to become a mighty tree.

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Now, open your eyes, open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is grief to growth.

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And I am your host, Brian Smith.

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Hey everybody, this is Brian back with another episode of grief to growth. And today I've got with me Stephanie Arnold, and you may have seen her on the Netflix series surviving death and I was fortunate enough to be able to reach out to Stephanie and schedule this interview. She's got a fascinating story. So I'm going to read her bio, and then we're going to get started just have a conversation as we always do. Before Stephanie Arnold died, she had been an Emmy nominated award winning TV producer, who spent nearly three decades creating and producing TV shows, music videos and documentaries that she met the love of her life, and Stephanie decided the only thing she wanted to produce was a family.

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Little did she know this fateful decision quite literally lead her on an end to the end of one life and beginning of another.

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It was during the birth of a second child that Stephanie suffered a rare but often fatal condition, called an amniotic fluid embolism or an AFP and died on the operating table for 37 seconds. Everything she does at this time is a direct result of her survival. That experience. As I mentioned earlier, she's currently streaming on Netflix surviving death, which is an excellent series, it's a six part series on Netflix, just finished watching, it's great. She's become an award winning international best selling author, and inspirational speaker and a mission help others realize that connecting with their intuition can not only enhance our lives, but can very well save them. So with that, I want to welcome Stephanie Arnold to Grief to growth.

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Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

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Yes, definitely. I really want to let people know like who you are, about what your experiences are, and and kind of where you what you got out of it. So I want you to start where we'd like to start in terms of telling us about your experience.

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And they be catalysts, or my previous life.

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Well, my second life really good. It's always interesting, like interview people that have had these like life changing moments in life. When people asked me to tell my story, I usually started in the middle.

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Because it's like, that's where things change is this. This is the event that changed things.

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So it's up to you, if you want to start with, I could even ask you Did you have experiences like this before? Or we can start with your actual experience that your books are about what we can start with the experience and work meander around. So we'll go off on tangents. So I met my husband in 2008. And then he relocated me from LA, I was producing reality shows. And at that time, I was like, wow, I met the love of my life. This is worth keeping up everything. And so I relocated to Chicago. And then we started to produce a family like you said, so the first baby so I have a stepdaughter who I've known since she was two years old. So she was my first if you will. And then the second one was through three rounds of IVF.

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And I had no problems, no issues with the pregnancy, except she was 41 weeks and I needed a C section because she was almost nine pounds. So that was that was the only complication I had.

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And then the second one Jacob I was pregnant with after several rounds. And during the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy, everything was fine. I had no Charley horses, no acid reflux.

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Now I was like check, get pregnant with boys all the time this way. And then and then about the 20 week ultrasound, I was diagnosed with the placenta previa, which is basically the placenta growing on top of the cervix. And it's a one in 200 risk where basically, you know, as the placenta as the uterus grows, the placenta will move out of the way but if it doesn't, then the worst case scenario is you get a C section.

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And my husband and I were splitting our time between New York and Chicago and the radiologist had come in which is slightly different than if you were an irregular doctor. So the radiologist said, you know, you have this but I'll be back and I looked at my husband, and I said, I don't know what this is, but I have a bad feeling about this. It just hit me like a ton of bricks like that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and you know My husband's a PhD from University of Chicago. He is an economist. He is a former Air Force pilot. He is somebody who is very analytical data driven.

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He really likes to process everything and look at all of the stats before he makes any kind of decision. And what I was saying to him, was a knee jerk reaction. So for him, he was like, honey, we don't have all the information, we'll ask the doctors you have prenatal care, let's, let's figure this out together. But there was just this knowing I've had that there was just something off. And so when I went home, of course, Dr.

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Google starts googling everything. And I'm like, oh, a placenta previa can turn into an accreta, which is what Kim Kardashian had, which is basically when the placenta emerges almost like a lava lamp or the the the organs of the placenta and the uterus combined, then if that happens, you might bleed. If you bleed, you might need a hysterectomy.

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If you need a hysterectomy, you could hemorrhage out and if you have my child, you and baby could lose your life.

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And I sat back and I said to my husband, I said, this is going to happen to us, the only difference is the baby's going to be fine. And of course my husband looks at the computer and he's like, come on, what you're looking at is half of a half of a half a half a half percent chance. That's the miracle baby behind me flying around the school, Jacob a pi.

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And, and then I He's like, that's, it's not gonna happen.

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That's the worst worst case scenario. And so, so then what ended up happening was, I was like, okay, but I'm on. Alright.

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So then he says, so he's like, this is not gonna happen. But I knew it was it was. It was almost like, you know that knowing when you meet somebody and you're like, this person is a bad person. I don't know what it is. But it just, it's bad. Or I don't know how I know this, but I know it. But it was like that. So then I didn't stop there. I talked to everybody I knew. I talked to the doctors, I talked to the nurses. I was like my placenta previous return to accreta. I'm wanting to hemorrhage. I'm getting a hysterectomy. And I'm gonna die.

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And you're gonna put me under general anesthesia. I'm gonna be cut from sternum to pelvis like I was, I sounded like a lunatic.

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I sounded like an absolute crazy person. And, you know, in all of the doctors defenses, you know, the tests were not showing what I was seeing. They were doing ultrasounds, they were doing blood workup they were doing they were taking notes. They were they were saying you know, Mr. Arnold, you know, maybe you're just stressed. My husband was worried that maybe there was something wrong with baby because this was not typical behavior of me. So he didn't want to put out anything into the universe that that it was negative. And, like, I find that interesting now, because I'm like, you don't claim to be a spiritual person. But yet you don't want to put things out into the universe, like how he's up I believe in energy. Yes. So how am I okay, so, um, so then we had, you know, at some point, I spoke to my ob who asked me if I was still having these visions, and these weren't dreams. These were, this was something that was sticking with me. This was like, you know, I talked about the difference between a premonition and a casual thought. I mean, if you're sitting on a plane, and you're like, oh, planes can crash and this plane could crash and oh my god, this plane can crash and then you just that is a casual thought. It's fleeting, it's momentary, or you're thinking of it it pops in your head. It real premonition is something that sticks with you it It never lets up and this never let up. This was something I was thinking about day and night and I was racing against the clock because I was sure that the day that I delivered this baby was the day I was going to die. So call it maybe my producers instinct and you know I used to work in TV and I used to produce television and so with TV, you know it's high stress, it's very you know, and I i function really well on under a lot of pressure. But I researched I did a lot of research so at the end of the day, I asked my ob I said if I need a hysterectomy what happens or we had a friend of ours who's a gynecological oncologist and and what they do is that they perform surgeries on reproductive organs that are that have cancer and so they're high risk surgeries. And so he says, Stephanie, look what happens when you wish you're not going to need a hysterectomy.

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But if in fact you do, he ob would transfer you to maternal fetal Medicine, but you really wouldn't want MFM to do it, you'd want it to die not to do it because they have more experience. So I make an appointment with the head of gynaec at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago. And, you know, we're sitting in the waiting room and my husband went with me to every single appointment. And so he is sitting there, and, you know, he loves me, and he wants me to be okay. But this was more than the tools that he had ms toolbox to deal with, you know, this was this was the unknown. And this is this is not comfortable for him. So he's sitting in the waiting room. And we're seeing women who are suffering from cancer, and they have IVs in their arm, and they have no hair and, and he's like, I'm embarrassed to be here. And I said, I don't know what to tell you. So everybody's telling me I'm fine. And, you know, everybody sees this open road, and I see this 18 Wheeler heading straight for me. Maybe this doctor has heard something of foreboding, or this impending doom, you know, during pregnancy, because and, and maybe he'll have some answers.

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So, so we go sit in this consultation room with him and his resident, and there's, you know, take his shoes, taking notes. And the doctor says, Mrs.

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Arnall, how can I help you? And I said, Well, I posted a previous when I turn into an accreta, I made a hysterectomy.

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You're going to perform the hysterectomy in a couple months.

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I see you You see me, you're my doctor. So he stops. And he says, Mrs. Arnold, have you been on the internet? And I said, Why? Yes, I have. But this is going to happen. And he's like, Okay, well, let's get an MRI. If the MRI is positive for an accreta, then I'll schedule myself to be available for you on your on your day of delivery.

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Okay, okay, great. No problem.

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So I do the MRI, the MRI is negative for freedom. And my husband looks at me and he says, You should feel relief, you should feel you know, much better. And I said, No, I feel much worse, because now I'm running out of people to tell this crazy foreboding story too.

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So I take to Facebook. So now we're at a point where I'm like, no one's listening to me. So I take to Facebook. I'm like, if anybody has my blood type, I'm gonna need it. I write goodbye letters. I sent out goodbye letters I talked to if you saw me in a coffee shop and said, how's your pregnancy? I'd be like, I'm gonna die. Like friends, family, everybody stayed away from me. And I think they were just holding their breath just waiting for me to deliver and just move on. Right?

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Like, like, let's just, let's just get rid of the anxiety, whatever this is.

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You know, and at some point, my ob told me, I think you need to see have a consultation with Anastasia. And so I made a phone call to Anastasia. And she said she was telling me where I would recover what would happen with the epidural all these things.

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And I said, great. I've had this before. I've had a baby before.

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I said, but what happens in the event that this this this, this, this happened? And she said she was startled by the way that I was speaking. And but at the end of the day, she tried to reassure me and said, you're in a teaching hospital, we have you covered. And she said she'll never forget the last words I said to her, which were it is what it is, like, this is my This was my last ditch effort.

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It was there was no one else to talk to. There was no one else to consult with, you know. And so, at 36 weeks to the day, my husband is on a business trip to New York, I'm supposed to deliberate 37 weeks, 36 weeks to the day, I start bleeding on the kitchen floor. And I know that I'm having this baby today. So I get to the hospital, Jonathan's on a plane heading back. They triage me and they're like, you know what, the the RS are quiet.

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I think that now's the time that we should take Jacob and I kiss my daughter million times. And I'm trying to have that that motherly instinct of not having you know, my case, my daughter a million times and they're assuring her that that she's going to be that I'm going to be back with her brother. And my mother's instinct kicks in and I don't cry. And I'm just like, I don't want the last thing that she sees for me to be breaking down. And I'm texting my husband on the Skype chat. And I'm telling him that he's made me the happiest woman in the world, pleased to take care of our children and he's still not getting it and I'm very conscious that these are the last words he is ever going to read from me. But he's like, Where do I Where do I meet you?

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And I said, a full recovery.

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Hopefully they will be back and as they Gurney me back. I tell my doctors that there's something wrong you need to put me under general anesthesia. She said, I'm not going to do that, because it's going to put you asleep and the baby to sleep.

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And so it's too dangerous. And I know you're nervous because Jonathan's not here, but I need you to trust us. And we've got you covered, and said, Okay. And that's, that was my last ditch effort, right? I'm being wheeled into the room that's going to give life to my son and take mine. And I am acutely aware of how heavy this pressure is.

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Because I can't go anywhere. I can't, I'm not getting out of this. Like, they're, you know, if you're having elective surgery, and you're having a foreboding feeling, you just don't do the surgery. But this is not, this is not an option for me. So they prepare me for C section, they put a curtain in front of my face, I'm going to, you know, on the table, and at that point, I don't remember much of anything else. They tell me there was about 15 minutes before they delivered Jacob but they said when they were talking to me, I was kind of catatonic so I feel like I scared myself out of my own body, like when you get scared to death. Like I was just, I was just there, but I wasn't there. And so they were talking to me. And I wasn't answering then they deliver a happy, healthy, baby boy. And seconds later. I died.

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Wow. Well, it's I like to pause just for a second to understand some things. You, you obviously this feeling was intense. I mean, and you were not about to let it go. Even though everybody's telling you, Stephanie, you're just imagining this. So what was it? Was it a feeling were their visions? And what made you so confident that it was real?

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All of the above it was a heaviness, I felt around everything I was, I was conscious. I had three months to save my life. And I was trying to enjoy moments with my daughter with my husband and with my stepdaughter. But I couldn't because there was this just heaviness around every single moment. Every time I would talk to somebody new, I was just feeling hoping maybe I'd get an answer from them of something that a cousin, a family member or a friend had gone through, but it wasn't coming. I was having visions of like, you know, as soon as I saw a lava lamp in my head, which I describe as the placenta accreta with the the that's exactly what it looked like. And I felt it happening in my body. I was walking through a park and the It was a cold winter day and the fountain was dry. And then in my mind's eye it was started flowing, but then it turned to blood. And then I felt my head of visceral reaction to that as my body started to hemorrhage, you know, I felt had a visceral reaction to that blood, and then all of a sudden, I felt my body hemorrhage. And then I raced to the ER with my husband and my daughter and they were like Mr.

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Arnold, are you okay? And I said, No, I'm hemorrhaging. And they were like, no, you're not, everything's fine. You know, baby's fine. And medically, it's fine. Everything's good. And my husband's like, okay, it's a false alarm. And I'm like, No, this is a warning. You know, so it was, I was so confident there wasn't even. I wasn't even questioning how I was getting this information. More, many people might have questioned or after that, like somebody has told me before, you know, after the Fifth and Sixth Doctor told you, you were just stressed. And you know, the tests are negative, I would have shut up when I said, then you would have stayed dead.

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Yeah. So and you had had, because I've heard your story. And I know that you had had some intuition before were things that come true. So I'm wondering if that might have played into the fact that you were so confident that this was real,

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you know, as a kid, when I had certain visions, somebody ended up dying. And when that happens as a kid, I think you, you believe you're willing it to happen, at least that's for me. And so when that happened, I shut it down. I didn't want to see it. I was like, This is not what I wanted.

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I don't want any part of it. So when this is your own foreboding, and you have the love of your life and your family, and you're just like, No, no, this cannot this cannot be happening. I didn't worry about being judged. I mean, everybody thought I was crazy.

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But at that point, I was already off the rails. So it was like, okay, judge me, I don't care.

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But somebody's got to hear me.

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Because the biggest issue I had was that my doctors who have known me for close to a decade.

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Were sitting there saying, you know, everything's fine. Maybe you're just stressed. But this was abnormal behavior. For me.

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They knew who I was they I'd had a baby before I'd had a C section before so and I was used to high pressure so fruit for them.

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They were missing that really important point and, and had they listened differently, I think, as any patient would and as any patient has experienced in with clinicians when you're not being heard, it's very frustrating. So I think that difference would have been Had I known that they were listening and even with the anesthesiologist Had I known she had heard me, I would have been slightly calmer still would have been scared, but slightly calmer that somebody had heard me and prepared for the inevitable in my mind. Well, you know, the thing is, this goes against doctors training, they're taught to be materialists and to talk to the rationalists and so I think I think maybe they're they actually shut down their their intuition and shut down the fact that you might be having a real feeling here, but it'll spoil either one of them at least did hear you. And so what ended up happening was is so I flatline and only for 37 seconds, regardless still time, forever standing still, right.

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So I flatline and I ended up having an amniotic fluid embolism, which is a very rare one and 40,000 risk or amniotic cells get into the mother's bloodstream. And if you happen to be allergic to it, your body goes into anaphylactic shock.

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And in most cases, you don't make it. And just to give you perspective, Northwestern has been in existence for over 30 years at the time of my AFP, my amniotic fluid embolism, they had had 10, six did not make it the other three were in permanent vegetative states. And so, um, you know, in, in my case, I predicted a lot of what was going to happen, I didn't have a name for it. But there was one thing I didn't predict the or was stocked with extra blood and a crash cart. And, and those were what ultimately saved my life. And later, I had asked what happened and the anesthesiologist said, she was very uncomfortable as a fellow anesthesiologist having a consultation with me. And she said, You know, I was very uncomfortable with the fact that you had had a baby before it had a C section before, was speaking so clearly about what was going to happen and had sought out specialists to save your life.

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And with that one phone call she unbeknownst to me flagged my file and incorporated those life saving measures. That is 100% why I'm alive today and functioning. So the first that I mean, ultimately, had I known and had, she told me she was going to take it more seriously, I think I would have been a little calmer going in, I still would have been scared out of my mind. But I think knowing somebody had heard me. And her own intuition was what flagged it. I feel that had I known that she had hurt me, I probably would have felt slightly better.

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Wow. Yeah, that that had to be. I can imagine only imagine how frustrating that must have been. But the good thing is, someone did hear you. So you did have this, this flatline experience at 37 seconds. And I guess that was that was recorded, because it's a very precise number that you give

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it as well.

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You know, when I asked how long the heart had stopped, you know, they had said, you know, the anesthesiologist had told me 37 seconds and I'm like, Huh, okay, that's an interesting number.

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Right? So, now I see 37 everywhere, like in restaurants, and then it might gate at an airport or something. I'm like, Okay, I know, everything's gonna be fine. Like, that's my number of safety now.

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Yeah,

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that's interesting how that works.

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So you have this this flatline experience and from my understanding is when you could that you went into a coma, I'm gonna let you tell the story. But so go ahead and

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yeah, so um, you know, so all of this happens so if you're lucky enough to and if your audience wants to learn more about what an amniotic fluid embolism as they can go to AFP support.org. And they can learn a lot more about all the details about and how they can get help or a family members who register but so the first half of it is cardiac arrests you see is you you lose your breath go your everything just shuts down.

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If you're lucky to survive that and 40% are then the next phase starts which is d IC, which is your body's inability to clot blood. I am Oh negative here.

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Your normal body has about 20 units of blood I was given 60 units of blood and blood product to save my life. And the the the acronym that anesthesiologists say use with di c because it stands for disseminated inter Co Op intravascular intravascular I see my husband's felson that there was a neurological deficit but probably way before this Because I do malapropisms all the time, he makes fun of me because I can't remember certain things or get things confused, but it they use the term death is coming. So it is one of the most lethal things one can have during during a delivery is one of the leading causes of maternal death. And, you know, they were prepared. So ultimately we, I get stabilized.

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And Jonathan arrives at the airport, and I, you know, the doctors to this day say they're very happy. He was an Air Force pilot, and he was unemotional about things, because when you have a patient's family member who comes in and they're hysterical, it's very difficult to discuss everything with you.

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But for him, he was like, anesthesiologists, and Air Force pilots definitely work well together. So he's like, what's mortality? morbidity? What do we have to do to get to the next stage? Where she right now? How do we deal with you know, like, all of this and so they said, Whatever you do, don't look up amniotic fluid embolism. Of course, you're going to and all you see are widower sites, basically, like it's, it's really bad. And then, and then he says to the doctor, he says, He says, If she needs a hysterectomy, this is the doctor we met with two months before.

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And they took note of it. They thought it was strange, but they still took note of it. And they said, Well, right now she won't survive another surgery. So we've stabilized her, maybe she won't need it. So go back to the sick you and the surgical ICU.

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And Jonathan is sitting there and about seven hours later, the bells and whistles go off. And I'm still hemorrhaging. So they call him the doc the guy knock that I had met with two months before to perform the hysterectomy. They did the pathology on the uterus. And they see that an accreta head started to form but so microscopic and where it was located was not in a place where the MRI had picked it up. And so basically, all of the visions I had prior had come true. My husband likes to joke and say, yeah, so I'll accept. I knew you were going to survive. So I was right to

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that. Yeah. All right.

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I'll give that one to you.

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Yeah, it is interesting, cuz I was thinking as I was listening to your story, earlier, you know, you are you are writing you are wrong. Because you thought okay, I you knew that you were going to die and the baby was going to live and that clearly didn't happen. But everything leading up to that did happen. So it does bring up this question of, you know, freewill versus predestination? And can we change our fates? And we know that there are psychics that will tell us certain things are going to happen. So what are your feelings about those things?

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I know exactly how I feel about this. And I have this conversation a lot with my husband. So my husband says, you know, if you believe in predetermination, then your expiration date is your expiration date. I said yes. I said, but I don't believe freewill and pre destination or predetermination are on the same path. I feel like maybe it was always in my cards. I was going to survive. But how well I survived was due to my freewill.

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Yeah, you know, and the thing is, we think of it as a either or, and I'm just trying to, I think it might be a little bit of both. I don't know how that works. But I do know that people that have had near death experiences tell us that time is an illusion. You know, I was interviewing someone just a little couple a little while ago, and she said, everything is actually happening at once.

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Yeah, that is true. And from our perspective, we have this we spread things out in time. So it's mind blowing to me, but I you know, and then the thing is, as you said, do we have an expiration date? Yes, yes. Or no? Or may that we don't, we don't really know.

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I mean, I'm, I'm no expert, and, and God expiration date, predetermination. All I know is that this is what happened, I survived it. There are many others who survive not well. And so if I have the free will, you know, I have the free will to speak up. And so I could have easily just shut up and not said anything. Now I can't go back and do an empirical data test and say, Okay, let's do this again. And I will say anything, and let's see, how will I survive? Or how, what, how not will I survive? And but my gut tells me that me speaking up and having the doctors prepared, is what helped me neurologically and helped save me in my organ functions in a different way, because I didn't lose oxygen for I don't think I lost oxygen at all. But the reason was, because they were prepared, but the doctors have gone on TV and said, I prepared them. So they wouldn't have prepared. I mean, I spoke in a medical school, once in the faculty advisor at University of Chicago said, You know, I am not going to prepare every LR for every histrionic, neurotic, pregnant woman who's going to say this, I said, I'm not asking you to What I'm asking you to do is listen to your own intuition because you have it, and so to your patients. And so it's just taking an extra moment and saying, like I said, the one thing my doctors were missing was this was not typical behavior for this patient. They have known me for years. And so something was up. And so now in hindsight, they they say, yeah, you know, in hindsight, there was the different behavior because you're not like this.

00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:35.940
And that's all. That's all anyone can do is say, okay, we use your voice. When you send something, say something. What's the worst that could happen?

00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:44.940
You're wrong. Okay. Well, you will never regret speaking up and being wrong, but you will regret not speaking up and being dead, right?

00:30:45.119 --> 00:31:17.309
Yeah. Yeah, the lesson I take from from it, Stephanie, is that we have to trust our intuition. And I think that's, maybe that's as far as we need to go. The thing is, I work with a lot of people who have parents whose children have passed away. And a lot of times we think, well, I should have known something, I should have said something, I should have done something. And so a little bit of my concern is that people to not want to think we can control everything. And I should I should have, I should have I should have been, so what would you What would your response to that be? Yeah, I

00:31:17.309 --> 00:32:11.819
mean, I'm starting a podcast called knowing which is about, you know, we don't know how we know, we just do. And, you know, one of my interviews, he said, You know, I had these visions that my, my wife was going to die like I had this, you know, during her pregnancy. And it was just this heaviness. And he couldn't stop it. Ultimately, she did. And he said, the dream prepared me like the vision prepared me. So your intuition is there to guide you to be a compass to help you know, when something really right or really wrong is going to happen, doesn't mean by you inserting yourself into the narrative, you're going to be able to change the outcome. You know, maybe in my case, the way that me speaking up helped save me differently than what I would have bought I bought, I would have always survived, but maybe I would have been in a permanent vegetative state, I don't know.

00:32:12.690 --> 00:33:12.720
And I have spoken to people who have had dreams who have had intuitive moments that could not stop what was going to happen, even though they talked about this man talked about it, this meant talk to the doctors about it, but it still was going to happen. So they say that it just prepared them a little differently. Because it wasn't so much of a shock to their system, when ultimately it happened. I mean, Dr. Marcin, Neil talked about it in surviving death, you know how horrific to know this, and then feel relief when he gets to his 18th birthday, then tell him that, that, you know, you're holding your breath, and then for it to happen. And then she concludes, and she says it best where she's like, you know, I realized, now, my survival was so that I'd be there for my family. But knowing this ahead of time prepared me. And the sadness of the loss happened way before the actual loss happened.

00:33:13.079 --> 00:33:45.869
And you know, that you're the people you talk to, and anyone who loses a child, I mean, that that pain, I can't even imagine being in those footsteps, and I having the intuition that something is wrong, or that you could have stopped it, or what have you is just going to spiral you down this rabbit hole, because you can't change the past. It just makes you acutely aware, especially knowing that you can communicate with them.

00:33:45.869 --> 00:34:33.539
And I 100% believe in the afterlife. 100% believe that there's life after death. But the fact that that they had this experience, and then they can still connect it at least, you know, makes it slightly just I don't even know when people are going through grief. They have so many different stages, but then they can have, you know, a friend of mine, David Kessler wrote a book called finding meaning the sixth stage of grief. And and I think at some point, you know, finding meaning in that helps you with your mission and helps you grow and helps you know, exactly in that way what your soul is supposed to do with that pain to help others.

00:34:33.659 --> 00:35:12.000
Yeah. Well, these are very, very deep questions that I don't think we can really grok on this level, I think and I've wrestled with it. I kind of like your house. I'm a chemical engineer. So I'm I'm a very light analytical want to know how this thing works. And I think some people we I think we want to know, we want to know and I think and in your case or in other cases, because I was I was hearing you talk about well, if you have intuition, then maybe you can avoid the circumstance that would have caused this We've heard we've heard about people say, I'm not going to get on that plane, and then the plane crashes or I'm not going to get the car and go do this thing a day. But I interviewed a woman, Nicky Allen, who's a psychic medium.

00:35:08.190 --> 00:35:39.900
She knew she was going to have an auto accident. And she was talking to the guy she was living with at the time and said, I'm going to have an auto accident. He goes what, like when and where it's just like, I don't know that. So she couldn't stay out of a car for the rest of her life. And she ended up having an accident actually that that evening. So some things I think are, I think something's just going to happen. And I think for people, again, that are already in grief, I just wanted to, you know, say to them don't feel guilty, because you didn't know. Yeah, 100%

00:35:39.929 --> 00:36:55.559
you know, and and that's the thing. I mean, I've had survivor's guilt, because people will, I've told that they institutions who've I've spoken to, they're like, Well, God saved you for a reason. I said, Please don't say that. I said, because what that does that disrespects the woman who lost her life yesterday to an AFP as and why I'm more special than they know that that's not the way it works. I don't believe that's the way it works. I just I think it's the luck of the draw in this in this case. And I, you know, yes, I spoke up, I believe that that had an effect on how well I survived. But, but I don't want your audience to feel like they could have done anything differently to change the course one, because you're going to be again, going down that rabbit hole that is going to just cause much more pain, because it's already happened. And to and to because because what it will do is give it a false sense to anybody else out there who is about to lose somebody close to them that they can stop whatever is happening. And yeah, it's it's just so painful. I can't.

00:36:55.769 --> 00:37:00.989
Yeah. Hey, I have a hard time with that. And yeah,

00:37:01.260 --> 00:37:26.250
yeah. Let's just get back to the lessons from your, from your experience. I think there's, I think there are lessons there for all of us. One is obvious, I think, to trust our intuition. It worked out very well for you and that sense? So you had this 37 seconds when you when your heart stopped, and you were actually I guess in a coma for a while afterwards, and you were, you know, very bad shape. So when you come out, what were your recollections of that? 37 seconds,

00:37:26.429 --> 00:37:32.610
we'll get back to grief to growth in just a few seconds. Did you know that Brian is an author and a life coach.

00:37:32.760 --> 00:38:26.099
If you're grieving or know someone who is grieving his book, grief to growth is a best selling easy to read book that might help you or someone you know, people work with Brian as a life coach to break through barriers and live their best lives. You can find out more about Brian and what he offers at WWW dot grief to growth.com www dot g ri e f, the number two, gr o w th comm or text growth gr o w t h 231996. If you'd like to support this podcast, visit www.patreon.com slash grief to growth www.pa t ar e yo n.com slash g ri e f the number two gr o w th to make a financial contribution. And now back to grief to growth.

00:38:27.329 --> 00:38:31.619
So when you come out, what were your recollections of that? 37 seconds?

00:38:32.340 --> 00:38:45.659
Zero. So I was on Steve Harvey and Steve's I did you see the light? And I was like, Nah, man, they gave him a lot of drugs, you know, so. But that was nine months postpartum.

00:38:45.659 --> 00:39:16.800
Right? So I so and the lesson at that point was about listening to your intuition. And I really wanted people to understand because when I was googling, you know, Pregnancy foreboding, nothing existed. I was trying to find story after story. So that would help me. And so I wanted my story to get out there so that when people were feeling the same way, they now have a story to connect the dots to right. So that was a but then, you know, I had gone to therapy.

00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:25.260
I had kidney failure. I had, you know, I had all these different departments. every department at the hospital was like, you know, how did you know? And I'm like, I don't know, I'm in a teaching hospital. Why don't you tell me?

00:39:26.519 --> 00:40:29.730
And it was really hard. It was hard getting back to being a mom and a wife. And so I would go to therapy and therapists be like, how can we help you? And I said, you know, you can First tell me how it is that I saw everything once before it happened. They're like, let's not worry about that right now. Let's just worry about getting you out of the trauma. And I said, Yeah, well, that's a problem. Because for me, if I get another premonition I'm going to freak out what if I, you know, you know, detonate myself like I have no idea what what's what could happen, but it could be a false sense of emptiness. Scared to live. So, so him. So I ended up seeing a regression therapist who does hypnotherapy to take you back into the moments of trauma. And I didn't have any huge belief that this would help. And I did it over Skype or over video conferencing. But for whatever reason, I just felt like, you know, there was nothing typical about my story. So why not do an A typical, you know, therapy.

00:40:29.730 --> 00:40:55.079
So, she, she talks about hypnotherapy and how, when you're in a meditative state your memories, you can access like filmstrips. And they're stored in your mind. And well, under a meditative state, you can you can see what's happening. So, ultimately, I videotaped my therapy, if you couldn't tell I'm quite Taipei.

00:40:50.909 --> 00:41:34.619
And so I, you know, I videotape the therapy. And under hypnosis, you've seen me actually going through a seizure and convulsing, going back into the operating room. And in that moment, you see me saying, you know, who had the code who jumped on my chest to do CPR, what my daughter was doing down the hall, what my husband was wearing off the plane, when I was in a coma, that what my mother was doing when she walked into the room for the first time. You know, it was, it was a lot of download. And, you know, it's, it's, it's so funny, because when I was writing 37 seconds, you know, we submit it to publishers, and one publisher said, you know, she didn't die long enough to make it compelling.

00:41:36.329 --> 00:43:12.028
Which was awesome. I have it in writing. But I, you know, you are right, the other people you've interviewed that have had near death experiences, there is no time and space. So space, all of a sudden, expanded, there were no walls, there were no ceilings there. You know, I saw everything in 3d. And you go back into those moments as an observer. So I saw Stephanie on the operating table, and then I saw my spirit perpendicular to my body. And then you started seeing the EKG machine and beeping and then up until the moment of flatline, flatline, you saw a shooting star. And then with the, you know, the shooting star moment, then you see everything and all the chaos happening. But then I saw spirits, I saw my grandmother, I saw my uncle, I saw my my other grandmother, I saw my aunt, and, you know, I've done research on psychologists and what psychologists are saying, when people are traumatized and say, you know, well, that's wishful thinking, right? It's like you want your loved ones next to you when you're traumatized. And I said, Okay, fine. Let's put a pin on the fact that my relatives were there, cool, no problem. But it's the ones I didn't know who had messages for the ones I do know, back on this earthly plane. So when I saw my best friend's little brother who had passed when he was seven, you know, I knew instantly like he had told me something. I had seen how he died. It was a mystery how he died because he was seven years old. And he had, he had choked on his vomit. And he had suffocated to that. And so nobody did an autopsy, his sister was like, I don't know why they wouldn't do an autopsy.

00:43:09.358 --> 00:43:41.789
At seven years old, you can sit up, you can, you know, there's no reason for this. So it was just a mystery for the last 30 some odd years, four years. And I knew I saw his sheets in his bed, I saw how it happened. I met my father's husband, my husband's father, and he had passed in 1998, he was wearing a particular jacket, he had a coin in his hand. I had, and I had moments like this. And then I get zapped back in, right.

00:43:37.528 --> 00:44:25.829
Because you know, the way that I talk about it is that it's like an umbilical cord. And so once the, once the spirit is severed from the body, that umbilical cord cuts off, but then you get pulled back and you get pulled back in with a force to your Dunton to your to your inner sacred womb. So I get popped back in. And then, um, and then I'm like, Okay, so then what happens, right? So I, so I come out of this, this one meditative moment. And I feel better. And I show it to Jonathan for two seconds. And you're like my husband. So he looks at it. And it's like, how do you know, this isn't a recalled episode of Grey's Anatomy in your head.

00:44:28.798 --> 00:45:23.188
After I was done calling him a lot of names. I said, I said, it's a fair point. Right. So you can mix up thoughts and I had a lot of trauma, and I was under a lot of medications. So I could have made all this stuff up in my head. So I called my, the the therapist and I said, How do you know what I'm telling you is true. And she says, sometimes the only validation we get is that the patient feels better, and you feel better. And I said, Well, that's not good enough for me. I have witnesses. So I took the tapes. Luckily I on videotape, so I didn't have to say anything. I took the tapes back to the doctors who were present. And they all said they said, it's accurate to doubt down to where we were standing, what we're sitting what we're doing what we were saying. And I said, and my anesthesiologist said, you know, sure, the hearing is probably the last to go, but you most certainly couldn't have seen. And plus your MSC section and you couldn't see below your neck.

00:45:23.188 --> 00:46:21.719
And once all hell broke loose, you know, once we got you intubated, your eyes were taped shut, so you couldn't see everything else working around you. And then I kept saying to my doctor, I said, Did you say this can't be happening? This can't be happening? She said, Yes. But like, under my breath, far away from me, you wouldn't have heard that. And it she was startled by the fact that, you know, I said, I just felt so alone, you know, you were treating the body like a slab of meat, as opposed to knowing that I was still there. And nobody was talking to me. And then I told Jonathan, that that my own doctor didn't deliver the baby. And he is like, we talking about she was there. I said, No, she was there. I said, but the guy non resident who is taking notes, who rolled her eyes at me and stopped taking notes, when I was explaining what was going to happen is that she delivered the baby. And he was like, yeah, so he's like, Why would you say that she was on gynaec rotation?

00:46:18.449 --> 00:46:29.460
Why you know, that, that That can't be true. So then we go, and we meet with the OB, and I said, Julie did did? Did you deliver Jacob? And she said, No.

00:46:29.519 --> 00:47:19.889
And I said, to the guy, non resident, Dr. Field Park, deliver the baby. And she's like, well, we're in a teaching hospital. And she was in the back hallways about 15 minutes before your procedure. So it's our job to bring in people, you know, last minute and have them assist. So yeah, she delivered the baby. And at that point, I was like, like, I've got my answers, right, I, you know, we have a spiritual part, you know, energetic part, quantum physics part, however, you want to analyze it in all of the mind, body spirit aspect of it, um, but, but I have enough information to, to say, okay, consciousness after the brain shuts down, definitely exists.

00:47:21.210 --> 00:47:55.829
And the fact that I keep seeing spirits, and I keep getting validation, that what I saw from spirits that I didn't know, was actually true, you know, confirms that I can see this too. I was talking with Laura Lynn Jackson the other day, who was also on the Netflix series, and she says, you know, Stephanie, we all have mediumship ability. So it's just, you know, some you can meditate, you get stronger, and you can actually feel things and you can, you can, you can build that and I said, you know, I'm not so sure that is my calling, and nor do I want that.

00:47:57.000 --> 00:47:59.730
You know, I think different people have different purposes.

00:47:59.730 --> 00:48:06.750
I do not think that that's mine.

00:47:59.730 --> 00:49:00.659
But But I, but my, my experience tells me that life just changes from the solid to a gas and does continue to exist. Actually, I want to jump in and kind of emphasize some things that you said. One is, as I listen to you tell your story. I think it's really interesting that when you came out of your coma, that you didn't remember anything. And so some people will say, Well, people have flatlined, and they don't remember anything. And and you didn't. So I wonder how many people might have had experiences that just don't remember. So that's, that to me is it kind of solves maybe as an answer to why they're only like 20% of people that flatline remember any experience at all, because some people will say, well, that means there's no near death experience, because this person flatlined, and they don't remember anything. So it's a it's a very good point. I mean, nobody's made that point before but that's actually a very accurate very solid point. Yeah, I Well, that's what I that's one of the things I took out of it.

00:49:00.659 --> 00:49:08.010
And it's interesting that you went to regression therapy to to heal the trauma but not necessarily remember what happened when you were out?

00:49:05.730 --> 00:49:19.829
Because I don't know if you did that. You know, that was that was my point was every time I would ask a doctor or therapist how it is. I saw everything because remember, it was happening in my body. So you might be the chemical engineer.

00:49:17.699 --> 00:50:03.599
My husband might be the economist, but the reality is I needed to know how the mechanism worked as well. It was not it was not happening to him. And he was okay with compartmentalizing that entire aspect of it saying regressed suppress, let's move on. Everybody's healthy. Let's keep going. But for me, I continued to have visions and premonitions they were getting stronger. So I needed to understand something How much time do you have from the time you have a vision to the time something happens and how do I read it in my body and what is happening if it comes on the left shoulder or what happens is it mirroring effect when you're seeing I needed to understand the mechanism so and if I have The ability to understand what happened in those 37 seconds.

00:50:03.809 --> 00:50:16.079
Maybe I could see what happened during those three months of those visions because that could give me more clarity and information on future premonitions. And then what happened in the continent medically induced coma as well.

00:50:16.079 --> 00:51:29.130
Like, I was like, Is there a way to find out? I wasn't, I wasn't so hopeful because at the end of the day, the doctor said, Look, you know, foreboding does exist prior to having it cardiac arrest or an embolus, or what have you. It is a characteristic of that. But they'd say moments before, days before, but not months before in the detail. So they couldn't give me a scientific explanation. They have theories. I mean, one one, the guy not told me it's a self fulfilling prophecy. I said, You mean to tell me that you think that I manifested my organs combining into a hemorrhage caused myself to be cut from stern pelvis, flatline, be put under general anesthesia. And I thought of all this in my mind, and that is what did it and he's like, Well, I didn't say I believed it. It's just the only thing I come up with. Yeah. And I said, Well, that's an A whole thing to say, because at the end of the day, I had gone through enough guilt where I was thinking, I manifested this myself, so. So yeah, I went to the therapy to try and connect the dots. And when Steve had said that, I was like, Well, I'm not afraid to say this the end of the road, there's nothing there. But if there was a way to find out, I wanted to find out.

00:51:29.760 --> 00:51:36.570
I just was surprised at how much I found out. Well, there's so much there's so much in that.

00:51:33.449 --> 00:51:36.570
And I'm so glad that you did.

00:51:36.570 --> 00:51:56.010
Because there's a couple things you know, people are going to use a lot of times people want to dismiss it, as you said, wishful thinking, you're under drugs, your brain, the dying brain in the last gasp, whatever. But when you have what we call a vertical and the E like you did, where you can tell us what was going on there.

00:51:53.429 --> 00:52:01.679
Because it's easy to say I saw my loved one I saw my grandmother. So my grandfather, we can't verify any of that.

00:51:58.170 --> 00:52:12.059
That's subjective, right? But what happened in the room is objective and you have no physical a rational way of knowing this out other than your, somehow your consciousness existing outside of your body.

00:52:12.599 --> 00:55:11.730
In addition, you saw these people that you didn't know that set you back with messages that you were able to verify. So there's so much in there for the skeptic, you know, at the true skeptic, the one the person, I want to examine the evidence, there's, there's a lot of evidence here. I live with one, you know, at the end of the day, if the reality and and he he's, you know, hearing him say at the end of that segment on Netflix, that I believe you was such a relief. I mean, I was crying, and he's like, here I am. I say I believe you, and then you throw me under the bus. And I was like, I think it was just a relief of like just a release of energy of just wanting to hear that while I was going through it. It wasn't that you know, and I apologize to him because he's like, because people have reached out and said, you know, don't be mad at your husband forgive him. And I'm like, God, first of all the segment was shot a year and a half ago, says that we talked enough about it, but but you know, yes, they I don't get attacked by skeptics the way a lot of people do cuz they're like, Well, how do you handle skeptics? I'm like, I welcome them. Because there's not there's nothing to hide my my case is very well documented with lots of witnesses, so so please bring it because anybody, like I had somebody the other day email me, um, you manifested this, right, like, just sent out an email just explaining how I manifested it and whatever. And I took the time and I responded, I'm like, I really would like you to explain and send me evidence, real evidence of other cases where you have seen people manifest their own flatline or whatever, please, I'm open to it. I'm open to your theories, if anybody is more open to it, so one who's experiencing it, I would love to find a scientific explanation for it because that maybe science hasn't caught up with it yet. Maybe other people are experiencing it. What, I'm open to it, but when you come at me with this, and I respond in a way that says, Please show me the eminence to it, not just throw words at a dartboard and then they don't respond afterwards. I'm like, What? You know, why don't waste my time like Why? Unless you're going to give me something really constructive. Like what why why are you bothering me? Like what is going on? So um, so yeah, I'm just like, bring it I think sometimes people you know, the whole manifestation and I don't know how you feel about law of attraction manifestation so to believe that but i but at the end of the day, like where I've been racking my brains of where's the boundary of law of attraction like, Where is the boundary, and I have come to the conclusion and especially dealing With the doctors and dealing with people who have expertise in quantum physics, I'm like, Where do I limit that? Where is the boundary? Do you believe?

00:55:08.010 --> 00:56:03.449
Because I've asked so many people that do you believe that I could do? And they're like, No, I don't believe you could do that. And I, personally in my gut at the end of the day, that part is subjective, right? I believe that I cannot manifest myself to go through all those physical transformations because of it, because of what I thought were where's the limit of manifestation? I can't tell you what do I believe that you law of attraction? I do, I believe when I write things down, or have a vision board or have some things that are clear in my head, that that puts energy forth in the inertia moving forward to attract that. Yeah, I believe that, but I don't know what led if I write that I want a private jet. Will that show up? Yeah. No, I know, if it does, I will let you know. And and that's, that's a good, that's a good dataset.

00:56:03.809 --> 00:56:50.639
Yeah, there'll be a great piece of evidence. Yeah, I think the other thing is the universe is complex. And there are a lot of conscious, you know, besides just our own individual consciousness. And so I think we I think we are co creators of reality. But we are not, we are not gods in the sense that we can just imagine that this is going to happen, and it happened hasn't worked for me so far. Anyway. So I think I'm with you on that. But I do love the fact that there is so much evidence in your case, and you do welcome the skeptics to come on. Because, you know, I'm sure people try to pick holes in it. I do want to ask you, what your beliefs were, I know, you had some intuition before. And but now you say with like, no doubt that there's an afterlife. Yeah. And and I know that your background is Jewish.

00:56:46.019 --> 00:56:56.340
And I know typically, I don't want to stereotype that typically, Jews don't talk much about the afterlife. It's kind of a

00:56:56.460 --> 00:59:16.110
it's gonna talk about it, but they believe it. The the the really incredible thing is that when I was writing my book, I called my Rabbi and I said, Is there anything here that's against Judaism? And, and not because I was worried about not telling Richard, I was going to tell it either way. I just wanted to know, you know, what, what does Jewish law What does the law talk about? And so he said, No, okay. He's like, we absolutely believe in the afterlife. First of all, when we talk about Mushaf, the Messiah, you know, we talk about the Dead Rising from the grave. He's like, but we also talk about, you know, during Yom Kippur, which is the Day of Atonement, one of the holiest days of the year, there is time, there's a time where they ask the community, whoever's in mourning. That in, which is when they're saying Kaddish, they asked people who are not in mourning that year who have not lost a parent or who have not lost a child to step out of the room. So you step out of the room. He's like, do you know why we do that? And I said, Yeah, out of respect the people that are better, they're mourning together. It's a community. And he's like, that is not why we do that. The reason why we do that is because we're calling the dead into the room. And those spirits are present when we are praying, and so you feel this vibration there. I said, I learned that in Hebrew school. I, you know, they're like, well, they don't really openly talk about it all that so to talk about Jewish law, and they talk about, you know, the relationship to man and God and man versus man, but they don't really talk about man versus spirit. They talk about just a faith in God. And I'm like, Well, I think it would be more enlightening to us spiritual folks out there who are might not be Orthodox Jews, and that really understand the reasonings behind certain things, because one would feel that we don't believe that there is life after death. I mean, the reality is, is that when you go to the rabies burial and the Lubavitcher rebbi, who passed away in 94, I believe he was the black Hatter with the beard in the past when you know, in, in Brooklyn, in Crown Heights when when he died, you know, he was he was running Lubavitch. So he was the he was the chief rabbi, if you will, when he died.

00:59:16.409 --> 00:59:59.610
Hundreds of 1000s of people came pilgrimage to to New York, they were marching in the streets, they were like, the Messiah has come he's always said that he wasn't the Messiah. And yet, to this day, he is buried with his father in law and in a cemetery in Queens, and you go to the cemetery and you write a note and then you pray. And then you shred the note in this boxed area where both of them lay and so they're praying to the spirits for them to hear you.

00:59:51.750 --> 01:00:16.530
So, no, I 100% they, they absolutely Believe in the afterlife. It was interesting. I had met the rebbi in 91, when I was directing and producing music videos and doing stuff for the Jewish educational documentaries, and the FBI used to give dollars to people on he used to give prophecies to them.

01:00:14.099 --> 01:00:26.099
So basically, he would say, okay, you know, here's the dollar, he would pray. And whenever I wasn't asking for anything, but he gave me about I was 19. At the time, he gave me$1. And he's like,

01:00:27.480 --> 01:00:28.079
he's like,

01:00:29.340 --> 01:00:35.639
you know, you will have difficulty having children, but you will have them. I'm like, I don't care.

01:00:36.119 --> 01:00:43.530
I'm like, I'm not interested in getting married. I'm not interested in having children.

01:00:39.059 --> 01:00:49.380
You know, I tell the Orthodox Jews of my home, well, I spent the dollar on a coke. And they're like, oh, kidding me?

01:00:45.690 --> 01:00:59.340
And I'm like, you know, but meanwhile, the reality is, is he you know, I can't, I can't think that he couldn't see the future.

01:00:55.440 --> 01:01:07.289
So there are people that have these abilities. And, you know, I go back to I still just want to know how it works. But I don't deny that they exist.

01:01:07.380 --> 01:01:36.780
Yeah, that's really interesting, though. We had a conversation because I'm one of my best friends is Jewish. And we've been friends for 3540 years. And you know, he and I would have these debates. I was a Christian at the time. And he would say, well, we don't believe in the afterlife. And I'm like, Yes, you do. But I think some people even in the Jewish community, maybe because there's not as much emphasis on it, because the emphasis is on this life, as it is my impression that Jews are really interested in this life justice in this life, murky after, like take care of itself.

01:01:36.809 --> 01:01:48.179
Well, what it is, is that you as a Jew are responsible for doing the work on in this lifetime before you can join God up in the heavens.

01:01:43.199 --> 01:02:46.889
So your your gift is to stay here and work to helping to create peace on earth, then you get to, to join the heavens. No, but But no, they they 100% but and then I think Kabbalah touches on it, the Jewish mysticism aspect of it, because they do talk about the channels and the spirits. And a little bit more from the mystical part of things. But But usually, when you are prepared to read the Zohar, in its true form, and not like from when the Kabbalah centers that you're learning on it on a certain level, but what I have been told is that orthodox rabbis have to really understand the Torah back and forth before they can even attempt to open the Zohar. To learn from that, so there's supposed to be laws about before you, before you even attempt to understand mysticism you have to get, you know, Master something else.

01:02:48.570 --> 01:02:54.210
So I would ask you, do you now since you've had this experience, um, how has your life changed since then.

01:02:55.079 --> 01:03:45.268
So, like I said, on the series, that, you know, my, my life has changed significantly, because I, I laugh less life is a little bit more serious divisions that I get are more about life and death, as opposed to, you know, who's gonna win the lottery, you know, and I, the work that I'm doing is much more serious. And I'm connecting to people like you and to other people around the world on a much deeper soulful level, which is a trade off from where I was before. But But nevertheless, the work is so fulfilling for me, and I'm passionate about it. So it's kind of taken a first position, whereas before I was creating reality shows.

01:03:48.510 --> 01:03:54.300
So no, my life is different.

01:03:48.510 --> 01:04:05.190
It's, you know, when I had Jonathan write a chapter in my book, he was just like this Not my book, and I don't want to write it. And this is not my mission. This is your mission.

01:04:01.679 --> 01:04:12.210
And, and I'm like, Well, I, people want to hear from you. I mean, I was out in a coma. So you know, they want to know what you were doing during this time.

01:04:12.210 --> 01:04:18.059
And were you thinking like, I told you so and how it was, he's like, no. And I took for granted that.

01:04:19.378 --> 01:04:23.309
I was like, Why can you just do it? Like, I don't understand.

01:04:23.398 --> 01:04:56.398
Yeah. And he and later, with more awareness, I realized that my husband, it pains him to relive this moment. And I was out there talking about it, and probably going into producer mode of saying, okay, no, this happened for a reason I have found meaning in it. I'm going to help others with it. I'm going to speak about and I'm going to talk to doctors, I'm going to talk to patient and then I got busy doing and it became really a passion of mine.

01:04:52.349 --> 01:05:25.559
And he's like, Yeah, but that's not a passion of mine. I want everything to go away. Like we're We're good and and, and so it took a long time for me to understand that I think once I understood it. I said to him, I said, Okay, got it. I want unless you want to do something, or you come forward and I asked you to do something, then and you want to do it, I just won't force you to do it. So

01:05:25.590 --> 01:05:33.420
yeah, we all we all have different missions, I think. So I want to ask you now, what is your view on death? Now?

01:05:33.420 --> 01:05:44.340
How do you feel about about death? I know that you know, it sounds like like, you were like, I don't want to die. That's what that's the whole thing about your you know, you fight it not fighting this, but you're fighting for your life. Really?

01:05:45.150 --> 01:05:46.679
How do you feel about death now?

01:05:47.130 --> 01:06:10.739
Yeah. The whole fight was two pronged one, I didn't want to go anywhere, obviously, for for many reasons, you know, you're a family, a new baby, husband, you love. But the biggest issue I had with why I was racing against a clock outside of the obvious was that I needed my husband to believe that life existed after death.

01:06:07.230 --> 01:06:19.170
Because if I came back, and I was knocking on the door, or I was present, I didn't want him to feel like that love ended.

01:06:13.409 --> 01:06:53.820
Because I did. And I it was very painful for me to trying to prevent and, and that's why I think the, you know, there's so much documentation to his credit, because I was trying to prove to him more than anyone else didn't make a difference what anyone else thought, this is the love of my life. I don't want it I this, this cannot end this way. Like, you have to understand this love less before this lifetime, this lifetime and way beyond the next and so. So that was that was one part of this race against the clock.

01:06:53.909 --> 01:07:01.590
Yeah, I'm not afraid of death any longer. Like the the moment of impact was quite peaceful.

01:06:58.320 --> 01:07:33.150
You know, people talk about their NDA or their actual death experience, or clinical death experience, something very peaceful. The part of the actual moments there is peaceful, it's just incredibly painful for the ones you leave physically behind. For the ones who have left, it is not painful. It's just your life as you knew it ceases to exist. But my most terrifying experiences, were the three months before it happened.

01:07:28.860 --> 01:07:46.980
So I never want to experience that, again, that that kind of knowing that point of impact is going to happen. And this time, I won't have you know, I'll just know when it's going to happen.

01:07:44.519 --> 01:07:49.829
And I think that will be more terrifying than the actual moment itself.

01:07:50.789 --> 01:08:02.099
So what when we I think you said, when we when we die when our bodies die, that we become we go from a solid to a gas or something like that. And I heard you also say that our spirits can fly.

01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:04.500
Yeah, yeah.

01:08:02.400 --> 01:09:37.380
Well, she, you know, one of the things was, you know, at the end of my book, we had a friend of ours that you know, was physically incapable of, of move. And my own father died a year and a half ago, and he had COPD, and emphysema, and, you know, through all of the traumas, and broken vertebrae is because of the medication, he couldn't move. So the idea that, that I can see spirits in different places, your loved ones are around you. And it just takes calling them or meditating them into the, the environment to feel them. And sometimes you'll have a splash of perfume or a flower in an odd place that just reminds you of your grandmother or your father or hear a song that you haven't heard in ages, just in. I mean, I was pulling up to go to a cemetery for my housekeeper unfortunately, passed from COVID. And we're driving into the cemetery for a socially distant outside, you know, funeral. And the song Stairway to Heaven came on as soon as, as soon as we hit the driveway into the cemetery. And Jonathan was the one that pointed that I'm like, I find that interesting that he's the one that said said that but but the reality is like there are signs everywhere, we just tend to, to not believe them or think it's wishful thinking and, and I'm just here to say it's not wishful thinking. I believe in them.

01:09:34.979 --> 01:09:37.380
100%

01:09:37.739 --> 01:09:44.010
Yeah, and I heard you say that we're we're all intuitive but I think maybe different levels. Would you agree with that?

01:09:44.338 --> 01:10:04.198
I agree with that. But any anytime you see a dog or a bat or a cat or anything like they have hearing or senses like they have an extra level of sense sensory input that we don't have that too and I think that we can just fine tune them by By building up to it, I think I got unplugged.

01:10:04.198 --> 01:10:35.878
I went to a systolic, like I talked about when I was a kid, I was on low voltage, and then I wanted to shut it down. Then I get unplugged. I go a systolic, and now I'm on high voltage. So I feel things the only the only thing that bothered me I mean, Lauren Lynn had talked to me about like, what you know, you can be more proficient as a medium if you just meditated and open up and you can you can have more out of body experiences. I said, No, no, I'm good. had one I, you know, scared me, dad. I'm perfectly fine. Not doing that.

01:10:32.338 --> 01:12:28.979
Again. My 15 year old my stepdaughter was like, She's like, Can you teach me how to meditate on my body? I'm like, No, why would you want to do that? I'm like, there's no reason to fly. Right now you don't need you know, like, and the fascination with it, I understand. But when you've experienced it through trauma, it's not, it's not an exciting roller coaster, I don't like putting myself in, in near death experiences in, in traumatizing upside down roller coasters, or just to make my stomach dry, I do not need to challenge myself this way. And nor do I need to invite every spirit into my household because I'm already distracted as it is with everything else going on. And I need at least a little bit of time today to be a mom and a wife. Okay, you know, I think you're spending too much time with all the work and and you need to spend more time with your family. And, and that is a valid statement, I just, I think it would end up taking much more time if I invite spirits in. But they didn't make good tips about you know, if you start getting overwhelmed, I don't know, again, I don't know the mechanics, but they're like, you can say, you know, if if a ghost is scaring your children or ghosts like presence, and you're just didn't invite, then you can say, you know, you're scaring me, you need to leave. And all of a sudden, it's quiet. And so I don't know if if that's a you know, psychological or you're hearing the words outside. But when something is making noise and then stops, because you've addressed it, you know, that is some data like, that continues to happen. So, so I like to say, you know, if, if somebody is scaring you, or if you're not ready for it, you can say I'm not ready for it. But when you are ready for it, you can invite it by saying I would welcome this, I would welcome this contact, I would well put but show me a sign that's tangible.

01:12:25.649 --> 01:12:30.328
And maybe it'll happen sooner than later. Wow,

01:12:30.420 --> 01:12:39.630
wow. Well, I want to talk about some ways that people can can get more from you. There's the book 37 seconds. And the audio book, I guess is out fairly new.

01:12:39.869 --> 01:12:41.819
Yeah, just came out with a Netflix series.

01:12:41.819 --> 01:14:10.020
So and you can go on to Stephanie arnold.net slash audio book, and you can download the free prologue. And get in touch that way. My website has a direct email that comes to me, I try and get back to everybody as as quickly as I can. And you know, I am, I am conscientious enough where if I can give you direct advice, a lot of it is medical, a lot of it is I have this for boating, I've had pregnant women who've reached out and who have asked what to do. And you know, my advice is, is always the same is just to speak up and to talk to the doctors. And if they're not being heard, then you talk to more doctors. And the one thing I learned which I did not know, and this might help others is that, you know, I did not know that the anesthesiologists are the ones that are keeping you alive in the operating room. And I always thought that the quarterback, my doctor was the one that was in charge of everything. But the reality is, is it's the anesthesiologists, and they are taught in every aspect of medicine, especially during those emergency situations. So my advice would be that if you're having any kind of foreboding or just trepidation regarding any surgery to make a consultation with Anastasia, because more than anything else, they are trained to hear that if there is foreboding present, and not and they will talk you through it.

01:14:06.779 --> 01:14:15.569
But if they if they feel that foreboding is present, they will stop everything and they will listen to you that more than any other physician out there.

01:14:16.199 --> 01:14:19.260
Good to know. And then you've got a podcast now knowing

01:14:19.350 --> 01:14:32.250
Yes, we shot the pilot last week, I will you know, when you sign up or when you opt in on the website, you'll be getting notifications.

01:14:26.670 --> 01:15:47.010
That is I am working with the Producer Director of the Netflix series surviving death Ricky Stern, so she is my AP on the podcast. Hello. And we are looking at stories of people who've had knowings like you don't know how you know you just do. And so stories from like veterans who have had their spidey sense and those experiences to pregnancy stories to you know People have had stories that one was married to a serial killer, and you know how she got out of it using her own intuition. And, you know, what I want people to take away from that is that it really doesn't matter. If you think that your intuition, your sixth sense is coming from, you know, a spiritual place or a scientific place. My point is that the more that we tell these stories, the more people can't deny that it exists. So and the more that our stories are shared, the more the medical community can say, Oh, well, you know, I'm hearing more and more about this, and people will take it more seriously. And just because the six cents doesn't fit into the other five senses hardly means it doesn't exist.

01:15:43.319 --> 01:16:27.300
So when you're when you're looking at that, and how, how I'm getting approached by all these different stories, I'm like, these stories need to be told. So it goes beyond me. And, you know, I think this is this is the start of the mission of, you know, opening up speaking up when you send something as wrong at every level, because like I said, What's the worst that could happen? they judge you, okay? Everybody judges, your Instagram feed doesn't really matter. And, and speaking of Instagram, people can reach me on Instagram, as well as at Steph Arnold 37. So that's, you know, and Facebook and all the typical places, people can find me.

01:16:27.538 --> 01:17:12.118
Yeah, well, I love what you said, when you were talking, you were skimming the show notes about your podcast, you said you we don't know how we know. But we do. And I think, you know, I again, I'm a scientific person. But science has to, first of all, observe a phenomenon to believe it exists before they can study it. And we're just getting to the point where science is being open and say, let's maybe this is a real thing, you know, I know they're looking at papers are coming out now about people who have near death experiences, at least how do we treat these people who've had instead of just shoving down the rug and saying it's not, you know, it's not a real thing. So your work is actually really prompting people to say, let's take a look at this. And we don't need to know how it works right now. That'd be fine. I'd love to know how it works. But we don't need to know that.

01:17:10.109 --> 01:17:12.118
Yeah, Agreed.

01:17:12.359 --> 01:17:59.130
Agreed. And I'm also going to take a metaphysical and a scientific look at each story. Because because either way, any which way. There are theories, like even in my own story, and your story and all of your guest stories. There are theories. But not everything defines it. 100% So, so there's always a hole in each theory. And so, you know, my husband likes to say he gives me the Sherlock Holmes quote, which I love. You know, once you eliminate the impossible, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. And so he, he's perfectly fine. Not going down this rabbit hole. He says, You know, I don't even know who to ask anymore. And, you know, I just accept, you can see things.

01:17:52.529 --> 01:18:11.399
But I don't need to know how you see them. And he's like, I don't understand your need to want to know how it is. But but I get you, you need to know he's like, I don't think you'll ever in your lifetime. Know how it works.

01:18:11.458 --> 01:18:19.078
That's really interesting that he the rationalist is saying I'm okay with believing and not knowing how it works. And you're trying to figure out how it works.

01:18:19.319 --> 01:18:33.600
It I swear, this is what this is where my second book is coming from because I feel like we shifted positions. Like my first book, it was very spiritual, like, Okay, this is exactly what it is and, and I'm trying to prove to him that it exists.

01:18:34.109 --> 01:18:35.010
Then he's like,

01:18:35.100 --> 01:18:38.250
I accept it.

01:18:35.100 --> 01:18:47.399
Now. I'm like, wait, it keeps happening. I need to know how it works. And he's like, I don't need to know how it works. I just accept it. And I'm like, this is all messed up. I'm like, this is just completely flipped.

01:18:47.609 --> 01:19:04.770
Yeah, that's what we're here for. We're here to learn and grow. So that's, that's another interesting thing that's come out of this. Yeah, definitely. Thanks so much for being my guest today. And thank you for your time. I know you're really busy with a lot of different projects and stuff and the kids. And so I really appreciate you being here.

01:19:05.010 --> 01:19:09.869
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. And if there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate to call.

01:19:09.869 --> 01:19:10.800
We're connected now.

01:19:11.100 --> 01:19:12.899
All right, great.

01:19:11.100 --> 01:19:12.899
Have a great rest of your day.

01:19:13.050 --> 01:19:13.920
Hey, you too.

01:19:13.979 --> 01:19:14.520
My.

01:19:15.539 --> 01:19:53.489
That's it for another episode of grief to growth. I sure hope you got something out of it. Please stay in contact with me by reaching out at www grief to growth.com that's grief the number two growth.com or you can text the word growth 231996. That's simply text growth gr o w t h 231996. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please make sure you subscribe. So hit the subscribe button. And then hit the little bell here. And it'll notify you when I have new content. Always please share the information if you enjoy it.

01:19:53.520 --> 01:19:59.579
That helps me to get more views and to get the message out to more people. Thanks a lot and have a wonderful day.

Stephanie Arnold- 37 Seconds In Heaven

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