What happens when the unimaginable happens — when the person you love, trust, and build your life with is suddenly gone? In this powerful and tender conversation, Brian Smith sits down with Samina Bari, bestselling author of Don’t Call Me Widow and host of the Afterlife podcast, to reveal the truth about supporting a grieving spouse, surviving traumatic loss, and navigating life after your world shatters.

Samina lost her husband, Doug, suddenly in 2023. In this deeply honest interview, she shares a perspective many never hear: why the word “widow” feels so ugly, outdated, and wounding — and why she refuses to be labeled by it.
It’s not just a word. It’s a history tied to being “destitute,” “without worth,” and socially pushed aside. And for modern women grieving the loss of a spouse, it simply isn’t who they are.

This conversation will shift the way you understand grief — and how you support the people you love through it. 💛

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why the word “widow” is so painful — and why Samina rejects it

The reality of grief brain and why memory, focus, and decision-making vanish

What “solo parenting” actually means after losing a spouse

Why year two of grief is often harder than year one

The unseen emotional and logistical burden after spousal loss

How community can hold someone through trauma

What to never say to someone grieving — and what helps instead

Why saying the deceased’s name is a profound gift

How to show up during holidays and other painful triggers

🌱 A Message for You

If you're grieving, you’ll feel understood.
If you love someone who’s grieving, you’ll learn how to support them in ways that truly matter.
If you’ve ever avoided someone’s grief because you “didn’t know what to say,” this episode will guide you toward compassion, not perfection.

đź“š Connect with Samina Bari

Website: saminabari.com
Books:

I Can, I Will, and I Did

Don’t Call Me Widow
Podcast: Afterlife (on all major platforms)

đź“ť Continue the Conversation

Join me on Substack for a full-length article and community discussion:
👉 https://grief2growth.substack.com

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00:00 🌱 Opening Reflections — What if grief is planting, not burying?
01:12 🎙️ Meet Samina Bari — Author, advocate, and grieving spouse
04:20 💔 The Day Everything Changed — Sudden loss and shock
08:05 🧠 Grief Brain — When memory and decision-making collapse
12:42 👧👧 Telling Her Children — A moment no parent prepares for
17:55 🥣 The Hidden Practical Burdens — Cooking, bills, and survival
22:11 🚸 Children Are Not Resilient — The myth that hurts families
25:58 🤝 What Actually Helps — Real support vs. “Call me if you need anything”
31:24 🧩 The Loss of Past, Present & Future — Identity shattered
37:10 🎭 The Word “Widow” — Why Samina rejects the label (you’ll want to hear this)
42:32 👥 Community That Shows Up — How friends became her lifeline
47:40 🍽️ Holidays & Traditions — Facing the empty chair
52:00 🚼 Solo Parenting — Why it’s not the same as single parenting
56:48 🎤 Samina’s Podcast “Afterlife” — Helping others navigate loss
01:00:10 🌍 How Society Gets Grief Wrong — And how we can do better
01:04:22 💬 What Grievers Remember — Every kindness… and every wound
01:08:05 ✨ Final Reflections — It's not perfection, it's presence