My reflections on turning 60. As Joe Walsh said "Life's Been Good to Me So Far"
It's been a great 60 years. It's a good time to reflect on where I've been and to think about where I want to go.
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Close your eyes and imagine what are the things in life that causes the greatest pain, the things that bring us grief, or challenges, challenges designed to help us grow to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed we've been planted, and having been planted, to grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes, open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is grief to growth. And I am your host, Brian Smith. Hey, there want to make this video and say happy birthday to me. Yesterday was my 60th birthday. So I am entering my second seventh decade going around the sun on this planet. Pretty, pretty wild. I never thought I was a little kid that ever end up being here. For some reason I had this fear of death. And I didn't think I was going to live very long. And I've actually lived with that for most of my life. Never thinking I would I would live for a very long time. But I remember as my grandmother said, when we were sitting around the table, I was 16 years old. She said to me, if you live long enough, you get old too. So I've hung up hung in there one day at a time every day and made it to 60 I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me to reach me happy birthday. I mean, literally they were probably about 500 people maybe more that gave me birthday greetings yesterday, just on Facebook saying Happy birthday or commenting on a post that my wife and I made. It was a fantastic day I want to commemorate or want to just kind of acknowledge or remember the fact that I spent the day my 16th birthday with Kayla and with Tawana. We spent the day together twice and I went to lunch together I picked up a special bottle of bourbon that I managed to acquire yesterday we went to lunch at marline house with Kayla had about a two hour lunch came back. I usually work on my birthday. I always work on my birthday. I did a little bit of work. I did pack some orders in the morning. But when I got back, I decided to take the afternoon off and I watched the movie in the middle of the afternoon. on a Wednesday, my birthday being on the May 26 is just around Memorial Day. So I usually get a long weekend. But this time it had to fall right in the middle of the week. But I decided to block out the day. And just to spend time with with the ones I love. And to take time to commemorate myself think it's I've been going through a transition lately which if you follow me You may know we've had treasured locks our haircare products company for 19 years. And ironically, a memory came up on Facebook today that showed the girls standing next to one of our products when we first started the company 19 years ago. And treasure locks has been what sustained us for for a very long time. I've been doing it full time for most of that time. It puts Kayla through college it put you know I paid for Shana has her select sports she paid and paid for is paid for most of our house at this point, the cars we've had over the years. So it all means it's been successful. But the thing is the last few years, the business has been slipping off. There's more competition. There's a lot of complicated factors. But the business has been going downhill. And I've been really struggling with what to do with treasure locks, versus what I feel my passion is which is doing coaching and teaching and doing the podcast. So I've been filming, I've been torn in two directions. And frankly, it's easy when you've had something that's been successful, and charge it locks has been extremely successful in the past. But it's not doing well to feel like you're kind of a failure. And with the coaching business starting that up, there's really not much money coming in at this point. So you start to wonder, you know, was it a fluke with treasure lacks, you know, should you be doing this? Should you be doing the coaching business? Where do I put my efforts, and it's been really a struggle for me. Now a few things have come up over the last few weeks. And this is what's really interesting. materially, nothing has really changed in the last few weeks. But a few weeks ago, I was feeling very, very stressed and very much like I was headed in the wrong direction or not going any direction. And all I got I was just treading water. And what I can say is recently that feeling has really changed. I'm looking at treasure blocks. Now it's been successful. I've been successful with it. It has allowed us again, I just said to sustain us and also to put some money in the bank. So I was meeting with my financial planner the other day when I'm turning 60. So it's like what's going to go on in the future. And we're looking at retirement and the good news is we're we're in really good shape. So that was the great news so I don't have to worry so much about trying to get the coaching business off the ground right now are trying to revive treasure lock. So I decided to just look at this as a moment of transition. I'm going to relax in this moment, I'm just going to see what happens. I'm going to trust that doing the right thing will be sustainable that will sustain me. I know the thing is I went ahead in the right direction of coaching, and teaching. That's the direction I want to go in this direction I'm going to go in. So treasure locks. We'll see what happens with that over the next couple of years. But I suspect will be kind of phasing that out. And I'm going to see you know how that goes. But that's the way I'm looking at it right now. It was funny yesterday, a friend of mine was teasing me. We talked about living for a very long time, and neither one of us really wants to live in a very long time. And so she sent me an article that said something about people could potentially live to 150 years old. And I was telling her I don't really want to do that. That's not my desire at all. But I do want to say this, my attitude is really changed. Five years ago, my first birthday after Shayna has Trent had transitioned was really, really tough for me, I did not want to be on this planet to be frank. And to be honest, I didn't know how I was going to go on the rest of my life. Fast forward five years, and I'm feeling good about where my life is, and where my life is going. And I've learned to live with my relationship with Shayna as it is, while maintaining relationships. I also have other people here. And I know that I'm needed here and I know that I have a mission here. And I know that I will go home one day. So I replied to my friend with what have been running through my head all day long, which was a saying by Joe Nuxhall, who's a baseball player. I live in Cincinnati, he was reds announcer for a while before after as a player. And he said his saying was rounding third and headed for home. And that saying to me as I've reached 60 is the way I feel I'm rounding third, I'm headed for home. I'm looking forward to the next however long it is I'm going to be here. I plan to be productive while I'm here. But I know that regardless what happens that I will be heading home someday. And that's This Week, I've been playing a song I love this song by a group called Simple Minds. And song is alive and kicking in. So I kicked off the week Monday playing the song I'm playing it all week. And there's a verse that talks about the fact that the whole song is about like just staying alive and keeping moving forward, and how we're sustained by forces greater than us. But one of the verses one of my favorite verses, talks about how the fact that some day that that forces sustain just will not sustain us in this body anymore. And at that point, we will go home. But even when we go home, we're going back to the source of our love the source where we are so nothing can separate us from that love. Nothing can keep us from that. That's something that we're all promised. We know when we come in, we've got that to look forward to we've got a homecoming to look forward to. So that's the way that I view my life right now. So at 60 that we have these milestones you know, and every day is a day that you can start over every day is a day that you can change the way you look at things you can change what your what your outlook is you can change what your goals are. But as we reach certain milestones, we tend to reflect more and 60 is a big one, Lisa, this for me. So this is the way that I'm choosing look at 60. Again, rounding third headed for home, done a great job if I never accomplished another thing in my life. I feel like I've done what I came here to accomplish. I've been married for over 30 years, I've had a few jobs, I've had a couple different careers I've started a company has been successful. Raise two fantastic, beautiful, smart, compassionate, caring, sensitive girls. Kayla, I am so proud of couldn't be any more proud of her. Shana, you know, we're working on the relationship that we have seen as so as the driving force behind what I'm doing and where I'm going in my life. I've got a great relationship with Ty, we've, we've we've made it through, you know, 30 years. So if I don't accomplish anything else, I feel like I've accomplished a lot. And I want to let everyone know that I'm grateful for you that have been part of my life. And for the people I will continue to touch in the future for the rest of the time that I have here. So I hope that this has been made some sense to you. It's not just totally self indulgent, that it may inspire you, along your journey with what you've got to go through may help you to look at things a little bit different if you're going through difficult times. And you feel like there's no way that you can make it that you'll never be happy again. No, the other people felt that way. I have felt that way myself. And you can make it through and you can come out the other side, and that you will be triumphant no matter what. So, thanks for listening and have a great day. And if you have any questions you'd like me to answer on the podcast with him, please let me know. If you want to talk to me one on one, go to my website and you can go all the way to the bottom of the page. You can schedule a time to talk with me one on one, or you can click on the schedule appointment at the top of the page. Thanks for listening and have a great day. So that does it for another episode of grief to growth. I sure hope you enjoyed it. If you like this content, make sure you subscribe, so click on the subscribe button here, and then click on the bell to receive notifications and click on all. That way you'll be notified whenever I release new content. Thanks for watching and have a great day.
Grief Guide | Life Coach | Consultant
Brian Smith is a certified life coach, a grief guide, and a small business consultant. Brian's mission is to help others by sharing lessons he has learned from decades of experience and study.
Brian became well acquainted with grief in 2015 after the sudden passing of his fifteen-year-old daughter Shayna. After Shayna's passing, Brian felt his life was over. He had to learn to survive for the sake of his wife, Tywana, and their daughter, Kayla. Brian has studied the nature of life and death and how to progress through grief.
In his grief work, Brian provides a safe space where you can safely share what you are experiencing. Brian shares techniques that he discovered and developed after his devastating loss. Perhaps most importantly, he can help you understand that death is not goodbye and that your relationship with your loved one can continue. His understanding is not a religious-based belief, but a position arrived at based on reason and evidence.
Shortly after Shayna transitioned, Brian discovered Helping Parents Heal, a non-profit peer-to-peer support group for parents of children who have passed. Brian volunteers with Helping Parents Heal and is a leader of the Helping Parents Heal Online group. Brian has worked with hundreds of parents who have lost children. Brian is a member of the Board for Helping Parents Heal. He volunteers for the SoulPhone foundation.
Brian is on the board of the SoulPhone Foundation and Helping Parents Heal. Brian is the author of "Grief 2 Growth: Planted. Not Buried." He is the host of the Grief 2 Growth podcast. You can find Brian at www.grief2growth.com.