What if grief isn’t something you’re supposed to “get over”—but something that can help you discover who you’re becoming?
In this deeply moving episode of **Grief 2 Growth**, Brian Smith sits down with **Carl Manlan**, author of *I Can Breathe*, for a conversation about grief, fatherhood, emotional healing, identity, and what happens when life suddenly takes away the things we thought defined us.
Carl has spent much of his career thinking about prosperity, development, and human potential on a global scale. His work has taken him through organizations including the Global Fund, the UN Economic Commission for Africa, the African Union Development Agency, Visa, and others.
But some things cannot be measured on a spreadsheet.
After losing his father as a young man, Carl carried grief into adulthood, achievement, marriage, and eventually fatherhood. Becoming a father brought an unexpected question back to the surface:
**How do you become the father you want to be when you never had the chance to have those conversations with your own father?**
That question became part of Carl’s journey toward writing *I Can Breathe*, a poetic exploration of grief, love, memory, and legacy.
Brian and Carl also explore something rarely discussed openly: **what it means for men—particularly Black men—to learn the language of emotion after growing up in cultures where love was often demonstrated through actions rather than words.**
❤️ How do we tell our children what previous generations struggled to say?
🧠 Why can seeking counseling and mental-health support feel so difficult for men?
🌱 Can losing a career, identity, relationship, or loved one eventually reveal a path we couldn't see before?
👨👧 How can becoming a parent reopen our own unresolved grief?
🌍 And in a world overflowing with suffering and information, how do we protect ourselves without losing our capacity for empathy?
Carl shares a powerful idea: **we experience grief because we have loved.**
He also explains how losing his job became an unexpected transition point. What initially felt like rejection created space to finish his book and move toward a new chapter of his life.
This isn't about pretending painful experiences are wonderful while we're living through them. Carl and Brian both acknowledge the fear, anger, rejection, and uncertainty that accompany loss.
It's about what we may eventually discover when we look backward.
One of the most touching parts of the conversation is Carl's relationship with his children. He describes intentionally giving them something he didn't always have growing up: words for their emotions, relationships with trusted adults, and permission to become who they are.
He even created a podcast project with his daughter to build conversations—and a legacy—across generations.
If you've ever lost someone, lost a job, questioned who you are, struggled to express your emotions, or wondered whether anything meaningful can grow from what you've been through, this conversation is for you.
🎧 **Listen to the full episode and discover how grief, love, fatherhood, identity, and unexpected transitions can become part of a larger story of growth.**
📖 **Carl Manlan's book:** *I Can Breathe* — available on Amazon
🔗 **Connect with Carl Manlan:** Find him on LinkedIn and Instagram.
💬 **Continue the conversation with Brian and the Grief 2 Growth community:**
https://grief2growth.substack.com
If this conversation speaks to you, share it with someone who may need it today. And subscribe to **Grief 2 Growth** for more conversations exploring grief, consciousness, healing, life after loss, and our true eternal nature.
00:00 🌱 From Grief to Growth
03:28 💔 Losing His Father
06:04 ❤️ Learning to Say “I Love You”
10:21 👨👧👦 Raising Emotionally Aware Children
14:31 🩺 A Life of Service
17:32 🧠 Black Men & Mental Health
21:13 🚪 When Your Career Suddenly Ends
23:29 🎁 Could Rejection Become a Gift?
26:19 ✍️ The Unexpected Path to “I Can Breathe”
29:47 🌅 Understanding Life Backward
30:50 🌍 Returning to Africa & Finding Belonging
34:06 🤝 What Does It Mean to Belong?
38:50 ❤️🩹 “You Only Experience Grief Because You Loved”
39:36 📱 Are We Losing Our Ability to Feel?
42:07 🧘 Respond Instead of React
46:58 👨👧 Building Something With His Daughter
51:51 🔄 Healing Across Generations
56:02 📖 The Story Behind “I Can Breathe”
1:00:44 🌬️ Why “I Can Breathe”?
