What if the strangest moments at the end of life are actually the most meaningful?
In this episode, Alexandra Grabbe joins Brian to talk about the seven months she spent caring for her 96-year-old mother, Bea, at home — and the deathbed visions that changed how she understands what happens when we die. Alexandra shares the exhaustion, the tenderness, and the moments of unexpected grace that shaped her new memoir, Seeing Joy. If you've ever cared for a dying parent, sat with someone in their final days, or wondered what those "hallucinations" near the end of life really mean, this conversation will stay with you.
About Alexandra Grabbe
Alexandra Grabbe has lived many lives — talk show host in Paris, eco-friendly innkeeper on Cape Cod, and lifelong writer. After graduating from Vassar College, she raised three children in France, worked in journalism and broadcasting, and assisted literary figures Barbara Chase-Riboud and Marge Piercy. For two decades she ran a green bed-and-breakfast in Wellfleet, Massachusetts. When her mother's health declined, Alexandra became her full-time caregiver — an experience that became the caregiving blog "By B's Bedside" and, nearly two decades later, her home care memoir Seeing Joy: A Story of Life, Death, and What Comes Next (Koehler Books, March 2026).
🔗 Alexandra's website: https://alexandragrabbe.com
🔗 Seeing Joy at Koehler Books: https://www.koehlerbooks.com/book/seeing-joy/
📷 Instagram: @AlexandraGrabbeBooks
In This Episode:
• What it really means when a doctor calls something a "hallucination" and a hospice worker calls it a "visitation"
• The physical and emotional toll of caregiving — and the sleep deprivation Alexandra says was the hardest part
• Deathbed Visioning: the pattern hospice workers see again and again near the end of life
• Why Alexandra's mother's fear of dying gave way to tea parties with deceased visitors
• How the role reversal between parent and child reshaped their relationship
• The 19-year journey to publish a book publishers once said was "too afraid" to touch
• What her mother's final moments — and the arrival of Alexandra's father and grandmother — taught her about how we're not meant to be alone at the end
What resonated with you in this episode? Have you witnessed a loved one's deathbed visions, or cared for an aging parent at home? Share your story in the comments — Alexandra's experience may be more common than you think.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back.
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g (https://grief2growth.com/store)
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. (https://grief2growth.com/substack)
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.
https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show (https://pages.grief2growth.com/products/grief-2-growth)
🧑🏿🤝🧑🏻 Join me on Substack (https://grief2growth.substack.com) - connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) (https://www.buzzsprout.com/695488/supporters/new)
📰 Get A Free Gift (https://www.grief2growth.com/gifts)
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call (https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-complimentary)
📈 Leave A Review (https://ratethispodcast.com/grief2growth)
Thanks so much for your support
