You’ve been there. Someone you care about has just lost a person they love, and you freeze. You want to say the right thing, so you say “I’m sorry for your loss,” or you say nothing at all.
In this episode, pediatric thanatologist Emilio Parga gives you something better. After 24 years of guiding children, teens, families, schools, workplaces, and athletic teams through loss, he shares simple, practical words you can use today. You’ll hear why talking about death is a skill you can learn, why a one-minute text can mean more than you think, and why you never have to be afraid of saying a person’s name.
We also talk about the children who are too often overlooked, the siblings Emilio calls “the forgotten mourners,” and what it really means to move forward with your grief instead of moving on from it.
About Emilio Parga
Emilio Parga is a pediatric thanatologist and the leader of The Solace Tree, a nonprofit that has supported children, teens, and adults from ages 3 to 93 for 24 years. A former teacher, special needs educator, adaptive PE teacher, coach, and school counselor, Emilio has made it his life’s work to teach the adults around grieving kids, including parents, teachers, coaches, and entire companies, how to stop going silent and start showing up. The Solace Tree offers weekly family support, a grief camp for kids at Lake Tahoe, and national Zoom groups, including groups focused on suicide loss and groups for men.
🔗 The Solace Tree: https://www.solacetree.org
In this episode, you’ll hear:
✨ What to say instead of “I’m sorry for your loss,” and why asking “What was their name?” opens the door
✨ Why siblings are the “forgotten mourners” and how to help them feel seen
✨ Why kids and teens often hide their grief, and why peer support matters
✨ How to keep showing up long after the first year, with a one-minute text or a reminder in your phone
✨ How seasons, anniversaries, and favorite times of year can bring grief rushing back
✨ How to offer specific help instead of “let me know if you need anything”
✨ Why Emilio and Brian prefer “moving forward” and “moving together” to “moving on”
✨ What the Girl Scouts taught Emilio about disenfranchised grief, from great-grandmothers to a beloved pet goat
Memorable moments
💬 “What’s mentionable is manageable,” the idea Emilio carries from Mr. Rogers into his work
💬 Why most people light up when you ask about their loved one
💬 The one question Emilio suggests when you get awkward: “What’s one funny thing about them?”
Now it’s your turn
💜 What resonated with you most in this conversation?
💜 Who in your life could use a one-minute “I’ve been thinking about you” this week?
💜 What is one thing you wish someone had said to you after your loss?
Share your thoughts in the comments on the companion article at grief2growth.substack.com. I read every one, and your story may be exactly what another listener needs to hear.
Connect with Brian
🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile
📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club
⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
